Wednesday, February 3, 2010

The Legend of CID



Recently, I have been hooked to CID- a cult hit, that has been airing for the last 12 years. Well, back in the time it started, it used to be a thing to be glued to on every friday. Now, all that has changed. CID has become legendary. It airs all afternoon on Sony TV, and whenever I can, I watch it!!
The CID bug has now even spread on Facebook. There are absolutely entertaining pages such as Daya, Darwaza Tod Do! Daya, Abhijeet Pata Lagaon, koi na koi suraag to jaroor Milega! etc etc. Well, its become a haven for fan fiction for new CID stories. Just Today, while going through the site, I came across a rather intriguing story. Now, I am bursting because of the laughter... just cant stop laughing.... Its worth sharing.. Here goes...

DOSTANA MUJRIM.

(Initial parts skipped... The last segment)

ACP : Kuch to gadbad hai...mujhe lagta hai hame Karan Johar ko arrest karna padega...
Fredrix :Karan Johar ko?? Sir, aap kabse ye nawaabo wale shokh rakhne lage??
ACP : Chup raho freddy nahi to jail mein tumhe uske saath band kar dunga....naukri to jaayegi hi, lekin badnaami zyada hogi!
Abhijeet : Sir, aapko aisa kyu lagta hai ki khoon Karan Johar ne kiya hai??
ACP (finger dance) : kyuki laash ke yaha se coffee with karan ke mugs mile hai.....
Abhijeet : Iska matlab khooni Karan Johar hai?? haeinn??
ACP : Ye to waqt aane par hi pata chalega!!

CID goes to Karan Johar's place!!

ACP (knocking the door) : Karan darwaza kholo...nahi to anjaam bahot bura hoga!
Karan (shouting from inside) : Nahi kholunga...mujhe aap mein se kisiki bhi niyat pe bharosa nahi hai...
Daya Gets ready to smash the door door.... ACP shakes his head and says no..
ACP : Achha thik hai..main akela hi andar aaunga "God Promise"...ab to darwaza khol do...mujhpar bharosa rakho...main ek 60 saal ka aadmi hu!
Abhijeet : Darwaza kholte ho ya hum khud khol ke andar aaye? haeinn??
Karan(with a worried expression) : ACP Pradyuman...apne officer se kaho ki zabaan sambhaal ke baat kare...ashleelta na failaaye!!
ACP : Abhijeet....ise main handle karta hu, tum sab waapas bureau jao!

ACP somehow manages to bring Karan Johar to the bureau!

Abhijeet : Ab batao Mr. Karan Johar...kyu mara tumne Rita ko? haeinn?
Karan : Maine nahi mara kisi bhi Rita ko...main to use jaanta tak nahi!!
ACP : Oh my Gawdddd!!....ye chakkar kuch aur hi hai...to Karan ye batao ki tum 12 taarikh ki raat ko kaha they??
Karan (blushing) : uss raat to main shahrukh ke saath date pe gaya tha!!
ACP : jhooth mat bolo Karan...ye CID bureau hai...coffee with karan ka studio nahi....yaha hum sawaal puchhte hai aur mujrim jawaab deta hai...Daya, isse apni bhaasha mein samjhao..
Daya : Sorry sir, main aurat pe haath nahi uthaata..!!
ACP : Tasha, tum samjhao isse

Tasha Slaps him (bang!!)

Karan(crying) : Haa...rita ka khoon maine hi kiya hai...kyuki woh Gauri Khan ko mere aur shahrukh ke affair ke baare mein bataane wali thi...
ACP : Aur itni si baat ke liye tumne uski itni be-rehmi se hatya kar di....aari warsi khatan gayaa si...tumhe faasi hogi faasi!!

Karan is being led to the gallows...but there is a twist in the tale, when out of nowhere Dr. Salunk pops out and stops the team...

Dr.Salunkhe:Boss yeh tumne kya kiya? Ek masoom ko faasi dene ja rahe th;e??
ACP:Kya bakwaas kar rahe ho Salunkhe..tumhara dimaag to theek hai na..
Dr.Salunkhe:Boss, mera dimaag ekdum theek hai..lekin tum lagta hai satya gaye ho..
ACP:Salunkhe, tumhe kya sanyaas chahiye..
Dr.Salunkhe:ACP Saab, Rita ka khoon KJo ne nahi kisi mard ne kiya hai..:... 
ACP :Kya? Yeh kaise ho sakta hai? Usne apna jurm khud kabool kiya hai
Dr.Salunkhe:Nahi Boss...maine sab dekh liya hai..Rita ki laash jab maine kareeb se dekhi tab maine ghaav ko dekha..usse kisi mard ne hi maara hai jo kareeb 40 saal ka hai..
ACP:Chaalis saal ka mard!!
Abhijeet:MY GAWD!! Sir yeh to gadbad ho gaya..na to KJo chaalis saal ka hai aur na woh mard hai..
Dr.Salunkhe:Haan Abhijeet, aur ek aur baat..uss aadmi ka sar apni jagah pe nahi hai..
ACP (O-O):Salunkhe dimaag to tumhara apne sar pe nahi hai..kya anaab shanaab bole jaa rahe ho? CID ke paas zyaada waqt nahi hai..
Dr.Salunkhe:Boss..mera matlab hai ki uss aadmi ko apna sar aur haath hilane ki aadat hai..
ACP :Aisa kaunsa aadmi ho sakta hai?
Daya:Sir..aisa to sirf ek hi hai..jiska iss case se samband hai

ACP:Kaun?
Daya:Shahrukh Khan Sir..
Freddie:SRK!! Woh star..nahi Daya Sir..woh kaise ho sakta hai..woh to bahut bada filmstar hai..aur meri wife ka favortie bhi hai..
ACP:Yes daya..you are right!! Chalo SRK ke ghar..
 

At Mannat
 

Daya:Sir..ghar pe koi hai..andar se aawaz aa rahi hai..
ACP:To kya hua? Tum jab tak darwaze nahi todoge tab tak TRP kaise badhenge..DAYA DARWAZA TOD DO!!
SLAM!!
Abhijeet:Hands up! Koi apni jagah se nahi hilega..
ACP:Kyon Baadshah..pakde gaye na..
SRK looks dazed!!
SRK:Aap kaun? Aur yahaan kya kar rahe ho? Aur iss saand ne mera darwaza kyo toda?

Daya:Hum CID se hain..
ACP:Kyon..nikal gayi na hawa!! CID ke saamne achche achcho ki hawa nikal jaati hai..tum to kya... ek mamulisa actor hai...
SRK:Jubaan Sambhal kar bat kar ACP. Mein BEST hoon. Waise,kya chahiye aap logo ko?
Freddie:Autograph Sir..
ACP:Freddie..chup raho..jab jail mein jayega tab lena..waise bhi SRK ke paas aur kuch kaam to rahega nahi..
SRK and Gauri:Jail? Kyo Sir?
ACP:Woh to tumhe pata hona chahiye..Rita ka khoon kiya to laga bach jaoge..
SRK:R-R-R-R-R-R-Rita?? Kaun Rita Sir?
Daya:Achcha kaun Rita?
WHACK!!
SRK: A-A-A-A-A-A..Haan Sir maine hi Rita ko maara..
Abhijeet:Kyo?
SRK:Actually mere aur Karan ke beech kaafi ghehre samband the..Rita ko iska pata chala..to woh mujhe blackmail karne lagi..aur kehne lagi ki woh Gauri ko sab bata degi..isiliye maine..maine usse maar diya..
Daya:Aur KJo ne yeh apne sar pe kyo liya?
SRK:Hum dono ek doosre ko bahut chahte hain..karan ka mere siwa koi nahi lekin mere to biwi bachche hai na..isilioye meri married life bachane ke liye..usne yeh jurm apne naam liya..
ACP:Wha kya dostana hai!! Ab jail mein bhi yehi dosti ke saath jeena!! Aur Dostana ka sequel bhi..
par usse pahile tumhe faasi hogi! faasi!!Dono ko faasi hogi!!

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