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Saturday 28 May 2011

The Dud Social Networking Experiment


These holidays have been damn frustrating! Considering that they are the last ones ill be having with my college buddies, makes them even worse. Time, especially the afternoon, combined with the heat crawls at a snails pace. Quite astonishingly, there is nothing worthwhile to do! In this emptiness and boredom, a way out is to do stupid experiments. One such bored of the holidays experiment was based on the hypothesis that was drawn from observing social networking sites for long enough.

The hypothesis is that Girls get unnecessary attention on such social networking sites. A girl does anything, and there are hundreds of comments for even the silliest of things. Guys do something awesome, and there is hardly in discussion about that. Not all girls fall in that category, but most do. I wanted to test the hypothesis, already knowing what the results were to be. However, I slightly modified the theme, that me, and a girl would upload the same photo, and see the results depending on the number of comments/likes for the picture.

Fortunately, my trusted accomplice for this act was none other than my extremely nerdy and awesome friend Siddhi Soman. Siddhi, to those who do not know, is an extremely hyper-energetic person who excels at whatever she does- be it academics, badminton, rowing, having a row, brawl- you name it, she is good at it. No wonder she was the Best outgoing person from college. She is also an extremely terrifying person, and many a times has given me nightmares ( by chasing me around the college and slicing my head open by smashing rowing oars on my head in my dreams) . At 5 feet 2, Siddhi, is an awesome model who if in the right mood gives off awesome emotions for the camera. I had clicked a super picture of hers last year after the college dinner when she was doing her normal nautanki. The picture is awesome actually! its one of the better portrait shots that I've clicked. So it was with this picture that I decided to experiment.

The picture is a black and white portrait style photo of Siddhi expressing a typical Filmy dialogue "Nahiiii" ,and its one of my favourite ones. I had uploaded the pic on Facebook for my new album Life in B&W a couple of days ago, and received scant appreciation for an awesome photo. So, I persuaded Siddhi to upload it on her wall. And Lo behold! in a mere 24 hours, the photo on Siddhis wall had more likes and comments than what I had on mine! Its a matter of jealousy when someone gets into the limelight for things you do isn't it! I am not that bothered, as I get enough publicity through other means anyway, but a person of faint heart ought to get jealous. Anyway, I'm putting up the picture here as well. Its right below this text.


Stupid experiments usually have stupid conclusions. In my case, the experiments have vadheev conclusions. Linking any observation to anything is a prime ace I have up my sleeve to create lots and lots of noise. This time, even though the topic of discussion was well proven, just to have a new outlook, I attempted something else, which unfortunately by my standards is rather dull.  

Anyway, I came to the following conclusions after carrying out this act of nautanki:

1) Siddhi is an awesome subject for taking not just nautanki photographs, but normal photos too.
2) Girls do not usually like or comment on awesome clicks of other girls if posted on a boys profile.They get super jealous that its not their Photo.
3) Girls go hyper if the same thing is posted by the girl who is in the picture. "Awwww howww cute re!" etc etc
4) Boys go ballistic over the portraits. "You look awesome blah blah blah(General observation, not applicable to Siddhi. :P)
5) Compared to other girls, Siddhi has received less number of hits. This is probably because she is a good girl.(ya right!) I was more inclined on describing her as a hopeless aspiring model, but she is not. If I say so, my head gets sliced in two.
6) Social Networking sites are pro female.(rather grudgingly accepted)
7) Like it or not, girls receive free, fukat, unnecessary, pointless attention on Social Networking sites. 
8) Im better off writing posts which spoof engineering and mathematical terms rather than experimenting on stupid social networking.

Now, Ive lost the confidence in social networking experiments. Dont know why I carried this depressing experiment in first place. Maybe, by using Siddhi as a bait, im trying to enhance my publicity on social networking sites. :P (Not that I need it, but its fun, and Id have done it anyway- Im not someone who is shy of carrying out a PS :))

Never mind, if this post becomes a hit, then I give half the plaudits to Siddhi for helping me conduct a stupid experiment. If it bombs, its entirely her fault and I have nothing to do with it. But going forth with my cocky and arrogant self confidence, I have all faith that this will be a hit, and Siddhi will get a shot at fame that, unlike most other girls, is atleast earned! 

Saturday 21 May 2011

The Puneri Lingo

Pune, my hometown, is a city of legends. The stuff that goes on here in unparalleled anywhere in the world. You cannot become a Punekar. You are born one. the "Maaz" is innate. You cannot develop it. Short Temper, Exceedingly obsessive pride about anything Pune, A taste bud to devour all the unusual dishes you get here are few common traits of a true blue punekar. However, since Pune is also a cultural centre- the place where Marathi language is ever evolving, a true Punekar is also a person who comes up with and uses a few peculiar words understood only by the select few in this world who have the honour of being born punekar. What may seem like nonsensical terms make complete sense to us. Some are immortal. Some, became more apparent in the last 4 years I spent doing engineering.

This post is dedicated to all those special Puneri words that we come up with.

(To read the 2nd part of the Lingo series, click here.)

1) Awraa... I dont know how to explain this in english. It has no parallel. If anyone says or does anything not ordinary, thats the typical reaction. "Awraa..."
Usage...
1st person "Are Zampya ni pori kade vakdya najarene pahila "...
Punekar "Awraaaaa!!!"

2)Vadheev... A suitable english word would be a whimsical person or an act. Initially it was used to describe a person, by saying stuff suuch as Kay vadheev ahe to. But soon enough its other forms started appearing. Vadheevpana, vadheevgiri etc etc.
Usage..
 "Arre Zampya kasla vadheev vagato"

3)Napas/FAIL.. I guess I got hooked to this term through Sushant. VIT word. If anyone does anything stupid, then he is FAIL. 
Typical usage
"Arre Zampya! Sadhi porgi patavta yet nai tula! Kay FAIL/Napaas ahes"

4) Aai chi jay! An exclamation which literally means Hail Oh Mother! An expression to display the emotion of shock or surprize.
Usage
1st person.. "Arre Zampya la muli avadatat".. 
Punekar(who is least expecting this).."Aai chi Jay!"

5)Haramya. An adjective used to describe a devious person. Someone who says something and does the opposite.  
Usage
"Arre Haramya.. asa vagtat ka!"

6) Chhapri.. A mild way to curse a person. It means that a person has no standards. Associated with banter only.
Usage
"Arre chhapri!! he kaay ahe!"

7) Ghanta.. means bell. But in puneri marathi it is a word to express deep disbelief at someones actions.
Usage
1st person.."Arre, zampya ni porgi patavli"..
Punekar.. "GHANTA!"

8)Barrr.... a conversation ender. literally means OK. but in the rudest of the rude puneri ethos, this is said when the person opposite is boring you to death. He says anything, just say barr!, and he wont know what to say.
Usage... 
1st person.. "Are tula mahitye ka he ha blah blah blah blah... blah balh blah" 
Punekar "Barrr!" 
1st person. ""

9) Kamaal... Something amazing. If anything or anyone is out of this world, this word is used to describe it.
Usage.
 "Edya..Zampya chi navin girlfriend kamaaal ahe rao!"

10)Balach.. Nonsensical. Used to dismiss claims made by the other person.
Usage
Zampya "arre me vargat pahila alo" 
Punekar "Balach!!"

11)Bhurtya.. Used to describe a person who acts like an idiot. a sugar coated swear word for a waif individual.
Usage
"are e bhurtya salya"

12) Gandlay... Used to describe somethings that gone wrong.
Usage
eg: when the mobile phone stops working.. "Maza mobile gandlaay re!"

13)Dokyat jau nako! Used to silence the person opposite if he is making outrageous claims.
Usage
1st person "Arre merreko ye mila, woh mila" 
Punekar "Dokyat jau nakos re!! Gappa bass"

14) Edya layee bhaari.. word to word, it means Awesome!
Usage.. 
Zampya.. "Arre mulgi patavli"
Punekar: "Edya Layeee bhaari!"

15) Full Hawa.. Means show off..
Usage:
"Arre, zampya ni porgi patavli.. ata full hawaa kartoy!"

16) Fukat hawa... unnecessary show off.
Usage
"kaam tar itarankadun karun ghetla ani swataha fukat hawaa karat basla"

17)Ashakkya! means impossible, and is used to describe a variety of things ranging from boredom to enjoyment
Usage
Ghari basun Ashakkya bor zalay.
Arre trek la ashakkya majaa ali!

18) Ghari Ja! An exclamation to tell the other person to stop meaningless argument. Literally means "Go Home"
Usage:
1st person.. "Arre, tula mahitye ka blah blah blah blah"
Punekar" Ghari jaa re!"

19) Ek Numberr/ Vishesshh!! again means Awesome! 
Usage
"Arre amchi exam Vishssesshh hoti!"

20) Kharraaab! means bad...in a bad way. used to describe if a person has had is ga** hammered by banter.
Usage
"Arre zampya chi Kharrraaaab marli geli!"

21) Aai chya gavat! means In mothers village. But in puneri marathi, it is a phrase used to describe surprize.
Usage
1st person. "Arre... aaj aapli pariksha ahe."
Punekar. "Aai chya gavat!"

22) Full Radaaa... means a brawl, or mismanagement or any other activity which leads to chaos.
Usage.
"Arre ganpati baghtana Lakshmi road var fulll radaaaa zala hota"

23) Matter zala.. means someone is in trouble.
Usage
"Arre.. kharaab matter zalay... exam madhe Zampya chi copy pakadli geli"

24) Arre mitra! is a phrase used to address any person you may or may not know.
Usage:
"Arre mitra... shanta ho jaraa"

25)  Ghusliye! means  screwed!
Usage:
"Arre exam suru ahet re.. kahich abhyas nahi zalay.. full ghusliye!"

26) Dokyala Shot.. irritating person/event.
Usage.
1st person " te bagh... Zampya chi girlfriend yetye"
Punekar.. "Nako re ti!! dokyala shot ahe!"

27) Chalni/Challan... a person who tells thaapaa(mild lies) all the time/ A mild lie. Exaggerated claims.
Usage:
"Arre zampya ek number cha chalni manus ahe! Chhotya chottya goshtinbaddal pan challan sodat asto

28) jeev de re tu! a disdainful remark to someone who is irritating you. 
Usage.
1st person. "Arre tula mahitye ka.. blah blah blah blah"
Punekar.. "Jeev de re tu!"

29) Kahi!!! Another word used to express disbelief.. usually used as "Kahihi kay!!"
Usage
Zampya "Arre me lagna tharavla"
Punekar.. "Kahi kay re!!"

30) Kapalat gotya jane/ gaar padne.. getting stunned.. literally...
Usage
"Mitra are.. zampya i vaieet bomb takla aaj.. Lagna tharavala mhane.. kapalat gotya gelya he aikun.. gaaar padlo hoto me pudchi 5 minita"

For some reasons I had missed these. Added after being pointed out by the likes of MadB,Andaksh and others.

1) Haat var zalet.. means hands held high.. situation is out of control.
Usage:
"Aarreee yaar!! parikshemule haat var zalet maze!"

2) Cheap pana: Universally used to describe anything that you dont want!
"Arre kay cheap pana ahe ha!! roj roj kay pariksha"

3)Vayaaaa means waste... used to describe person, behaviour, anything!
Usage
"Arre Zampya vayaa ahe full.. kiti vayaaa vagato!"

4) Phupphha: Its an abbreviation and apabhraunsh of fully faltu. the word was coined by me and Sushya.
Usage:
"Ricky Ponting jagatla saglyat Phupphha manus ahe"

5)Majjor/ Infinite: Exaggerated claims.. Used to increase the strength of your claims.
Usage
"Arre Zampye aaj kal Majjor/Infinite dokyat jaato rao!"

6) Kissa: Kissa is a retrospect of something that a person does not usually do. An act which receives lot of attention, and the person responsible gets lots of flack, then it is a Kiss.
Usage
"Arree.. Zampya ani tyachi girlfriend rastyat bekkar bhandat hote.. Vadheev Kissa hota!"

I dont know how i forgot this. But Piyusha Dani would have killed me if id have not written this! (25-May-2011)

7) Chiwda : Utter Chaos. Similar to raadaa, although less intense.
Usage:
"Arre mitranno! mazya profile picture var jara kami commenting kara! kaay chiwdaa karun thevlay ithe saglyanni!"


These are just a few of the best words that we use. Puneri Lingo is difficult to understand for outsiders.. just a little help for these retarded souls. One thing is sure, when I do go to the US for my masters degree, ill miss the freedom with which i shall get to use these legendary words!"

To read the 2nd part of the Lingo series, click here.