A tribute to the Chandrashekhar/Vijaynagar Colony

Weird as it may sound, the recent feeling that I get is the longing to go in Mumbai and live in 5/3 Chandrashekhar Society, Andheri. Being a true Punekar, that too from Sadashiv Peth (limit of a punekar - even my email id is me.punekar@gmail) having such cravings can only be considered injurious to your health and as an indication of going lunatic. But I have no regrets in saying that I dont mind living in Chandrashekhar/Vijaynagar society for another few months. It may sound strange, but it is absolutely coming from the bottom of my heart!

I started with my first ever job in Mumbai in late June. Being from Pune, as it is, I was apprehensive of living in Mumbai, and was even willing to up-down every day in order to go to work. But being a Sadashiv Pethi Koknastha comes in way of such ambitious plans - why spend minimum of rs 500 daily to go to work? So all up down plans were scrapped, and plans to go and live in Mumbai were made. While all people from Pune who worked at where I worked usually rented in Hiranandani or Chandivali - either 10 mins walking or by ricksha to the office, I had a place I can call home at Andheri - Vijaynagar Colony.

• Vijaynagar-Chandrashekhar Society is an important cultural spot. It is a society built in the '60s primarily for middle class families and hosts Paranjape Vidyalaya, branch of Great PTV association. 

           -(Wikipedia)

 My mother spent all her childhood there, and I had only heard of all the fun things that go on there, and was quite skeptical that they actually happen, owing to the fact that some of them are highly bizarre. Anyway, over the last 6 months, all that has been proved wrong, and the magic of living in a society has finally rubbed in on me.

Work, while initially interesting when we had lectures, soon turned into the biggest irritating factor - excessively unplanned hours, unintelligent work, monotonous nature of it, just the fact that it was IT used to drive me nuts. Yes there was free pizza and donuts all the time - but all they did was increase my waistline, and made me even more irritated. In such situation, the colony was a perfect foil to control my temper. As soon as I entered it on my way home from work, I used to encounter 10 people- all with smiles on their faces, which usually bought a sudden upheaval in the mood. I used to enjoy these interactions so much, that later on, even if I reached the society at 6.30, it used to take me 8.30 to reach home. Endless stories, self-boasting, swearing were just a few things that we did during these two incredible hours every day.

The colony life was a perfect way to relax. I knew many people over there from before, as I used to spend months of my summer vacation over there as a kid. This helped me bed in quickly- but I also made a host of new friends, with no restriction to their ages - right from age 3 to age 53 and older, everyone was a friend. Some of the time spent playing football on the paranjpe highschool ground, the time spent with various people on the katta, the ganpati uttsav, will stay in memory forever. I dont think Id have liked the place as much as I did, if the people were not as nice as they were. Being the son of one of the most "dhatingan mulgi" as an Aaji put it, and looking very similar to my Aai and my Mama-who was everyone's favourite, had an added advantage. Half the people recognized and knew me, even though I had never met them before! "Mama cha chhaap ahes. Kevdha shubhi sarkha distos" were frequent compliments! Dinner invitations were always open. I need not call up to tell anyone that Id be coming! You go to anyone at say 7.30 -8, and you were not allowed to leave till you had dinner. This was awesome! :P

Other than the fact that the people were nice, one thing came across very evidently. The people, though from Mumbai, are inherently very much Sadashiv Pethi. Well, the society is a Brahmin dominated - it would be fair to even call it "exclusive to Brahmins" society. People talk in accented high pitched voices. "Chyayla" and a few more crisp, not to be mentioned here words, are used as alternate words while talking. The infinite maaz of some people, the agaupana done by girls, deriding anything you do not like, are all Pethi traits. Being in Mumbai, I had feared that I wont be getting this kind of attitude, but it was heartening to see it being false! The icing on the cake was one of the "Puneri Paati" being put up on the entrance to the Society mandir, which read "Aapla ahankar va chaplaa boot baher kadhunach aat yaave" ( Please leave your arrogance and footwear outside and then only enter). This very nature of the society made me feel as if I was at home!

And home it was- for 6 wonderful months that I spent over there. I have absolutely no regrets over the fact that I went to live in Mumbai for those 6 months. Chandrashekhar-Vijaynagar made me realize, that you can discover home away from home. I always will, love the society, and just keep praying that in such changing times, it retains its charm for a Punekar of being a "Pune within Mumbai".

One Notice.. from the bottom of my heart

I sincerely thank MadB for translating my post into English for the welfare of those poor souls who cannot comprehend the Marathi of Pune. (Suckers indeed.) This will reach a broader audience I am sure.

Thanks MadB!

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Greetings to my dear readers and followers. You have always been my inspiration for writing this blog. I am grateful for your love and hope you shall always support me. However on account of some recent developments, I have been forced to write explosive posts like the one you will read now. My friends and colleagues Nikhil Sugwekar, Ameya Akkalkotkar and Tejas Sant will give me their backing is most certain. Anyway.

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http://www.chinmay-datar.blogspot.com(Down the memory lanes...) is my private intellectual property. And since this blog belongs to me and me only, nobody is permitted to plagiarise/steal/publish any material published on this blog. (And no-one has even been nominated for the same). These days a few of my posts (especially the ‘Puneri Lingo’ post) is being circulated as an email forward.  As a writer, I am repulsed by people stealing my ‘Jhampya’ and passing off the cleverly put together examples in their own name. Indeed, I am deeply disgusted.

You may think its easy to nick my posts, but it is not at all easy for me. I have the privilege of being sponsored for some of these posts. I earn some amount of money out of my posts, and the hits they generate. This money is really precious in these difficult times of inflation. When you circulate my post without my explicit permission, I lose out on the number of hits; in turn cutting down my income from the same. It is my heartfelt request to all of you to stop using the content on my blog without permission, otherwise I shall have to resort to harsher measures.

For those who have plagiarized, and the one who have a mind to continue doing so:

1. My posts are an outcome of a lot of time and effort, as also originality. They are not conjured out of thin air by a magic wand.

2. Your patriarch/matriarch doesn’t help me write these articles! The people, who do help me, find their well-deserved acknowledgments at appropriate places.

3. Your family bread-earner will not compensate my financial losses due to your theft, will he? (Approx. $200 monthly)

4. In case it is observed that people from the I.T. sector and the ones with nothing to do but sit in the States and gorge astronomical amounts of food are stealing my intellectual property, rest assured double the usual fine will be taken from them.

5. Plagiarism is a crime. You could be prosecuted if I take the matter to the police.

6. Since you read my blog, it is a given that you are educated and have a basic level of understanding and competency; plagiarism/theft of any kind is simply not expected from people like you. If indeed you have indulged in it, it’s a shame calling yourselves educated.

7. Today you are stealing content off a blog, tomorrow you’ll steal ideas, then maybe money. If this happens then there would be no difference between you and the Congress govt. Please do let the world know that you are only as good as the Congress govt.

8. To avoid plagiarism, please ‘share’ my blog’s link. This way you can forward this stuff, and I get hits too. Also you would avoid the allegations of theft made by my friends (Sugvekar, Akkalkotkar and Sant)

Please do remember one thing: Theft of any kind, be it creative content, speech, or ideas, will not be tolerated

o          In case you have a query as to why I have written this, ready yourself for one tight slap.

o         Henceforth, whoever tries to steal content off my blog without my acknowledgment and without citing the source; tries to pass of my original content as their own, will suffer monetary losses for sure. Please take due note of this fact.

Chinmay Anil Datar (Owner of the blog)

Sadashiv Peth, Pune 30

एक सूचना. ekdam manapasun.

माझा माझ्या रसिक वाचकांना नमस्कार. हा blog लिहायला तुम्हीच प्रेरणा ठरता. ही  प्रेरणा अशीच देत रहा हीच सदिच्छा आहे. पण सध्या काही घडामोडींमुळे खालील पोस्टसारखे स्फोटक पोस्ट लिहायला लागत आहेत. माझे सहकारी व मित्र श्रीयुत निखील सुग्वेकर, अमेय  अक्कलकोटकर व तेजस संत यांचा मला नक्कीच पाठींबा मिळेल यात काही वादच नाही. असो..

_-_o_o_o_-_

http://www.chinmay-datar.blogspot.com(Down the memory lanes...) हा ब्लॉग  माझ्या खासगी मलाकिचा आहे. हा blog जरी माझाच असला, तरी ह्यावरील कोणताही मजकूर चोरायची/छापायची इतर कोणालाही परवानगी नाही. (यासाठी कोणाची तशी नेमणूक पण केली नाहीये.) सध्या बरेच ठिकाणी माझे लेख- विशेष करून पुणेरी शुद्ध मराठी बोली वरचे(पुणेरी लिंगो), फॉरवर्डस म्हणून फिरतायत. यातली वाक्यांची उदाहरणे व झंप्या हे दोघेही माझ्या मनातून उत्पन्न झालेले विचार आहेत.  लेखक म्हणून मला झंप्या ची चोरी करून स्वतःच्या नावावर उदाहरणे खपवणारे लोक अशक्क्या डोक्यात जात आहेत.

तुम्हाला माझे लेख/मजकूर चोरणे सोपे वाटत असेल, पण माझ्यासाठी ते तितके सोपे नाही. मला काही लोकांनी हे लेख लिहायला स्पोन्सर केले आहे. माझे लेख, व त्यावर मिळणारे "हिट्स" याच्या आधारावर मला महिन्याला काही रक्कम मिळत असते. सध्याच्या वाढत्या महागाई मध्ये हि रक्कम मला खूप उपयोगी पडते.  तुम्ही माझ्याकडून परवानगी न घेता लेखामधील मजकूर स्वतःच्या फेसबुक/ ई-पत्रांमधून फिरवला, की  मला हिट्स कमी मिळतात, व माझे या मुळे आर्थिक नुकसान होते. तरी माझी तुम्हाला सर्वांना विनंती आहे की ह्या blog वरचा कोणताही मजकूर चोरू नये. अन्यथा कारवाई केली जाईल.


आत्तापर्यंत ज्यांनी मजकूर चोरी केलीये त्यांच्यासाठी (व जे चोरायचा विचार करत आहेत त्यांच्यासाठी देखील):


१) लेख लिहायला मला वेळ आणि डोके दोनीही बरेच वापरावे लागते. उगीचच हवेतून हे लेख तयार होत नाहीत. 
२) तुमचे तीर्थरूप मला लेख लिहायला मदत करीत नाहीत- जे लोक मदत करतात, त्यांचा योग्य ठिकाणी उल्लेख असतो.
३) तुमच्या या चोरीमुळे माझे जे आर्थिक नुकसान होते, ते तुमचे तीर्थरूप भरून देणार आहेत का? ( महिन्याचे साधारण २०० डॉलर्स)
४) आय. टी क्षेत्रातील लोक व अमेरिकेत बसून खादाडी करणारे लोक यांनी मजकूर चोरी केल्याचे आढळून आल्यास त्यांच्याकडून दुप्पट दंड आकारण्यात येईल.

५) मजकूर चोरी- "plagiarism" हा एक गुन्हा आहे. मी पोलिसांकडे तक्रार केल्यास तुमच्यावर कायदेशीर कारवाई केली जाऊ शकते. 

६) ज्या अर्थी आपण माझे हे ब्लोग्स वाचताय, त्या अर्थी आपण नक्कीच सुजाण व सुशिक्षित आहात, यात काही शंकाच नाही. तुमच्यासारख्या सुशिक्षित लोकांकडून कोणत्याही प्रकारची चोरी/ छपाई अपेक्षित नाही. झाली असल्यास मला तुम्हाला सुशिक्षित म्हणायची लाज वाटते.

७) आज तुम्ही मजकूर चोरी करताय, उद्या लोकांचे विचार, पैसे यांची चोरी कराल. असे झाल्यास तुमच्यात आणि कॉंग्रेस सरकार मध्ये काहीच फरक राहत नाही. आपली लायकी कॉंग्रेस सरकार सारखीच, हे कृपा करुन दाखवून देऊ नये.

८) मजकूर चोरी टाळायला माझ्या blog ची लिंक "share" करावी. यांनी तुम्हाला पण फॉरवर्ड पाठवता येतील, मला पण हिट्स मिळतील, व तुम्हाला पण माझ्या मित्रांनी  (सुग्वेकर, अक्कलकोटकर व  संत) तुमच्यावर लावलेला चोरीचा आळ टाळता येईल.

एक लक्षात ठेवा, कोणत्याही प्रकारची चोरी, ती मजकुरातील असो शाब्दिक असो वा वैचारिक असो, खपून घेतली जाणार नाही, व योग्य ती कारवाई केली जाईल.

- हे असे का लिहिले आहे असे विचारल्यास सणसणीत कानाखाली बसेल.

- या पुढे जे कोण blog ची चोरी करेल, माझा व माझ्या सहकार्यांचा उल्लेख न करता, आम्हाला न विचारता कोणताही पोस्ट  इकडे तिकडे स्वतःच्या नावावर खापवेल, त्याचे आर्थिक नुकसान तर होईल याची नोंद घ्यावी.

हुकुमावरून.

- चिन्मय अनिल दातार. ( blog चे मालक)

सदाशिव पेठ, पुणे ३०.

Puneri Be-Shuddha Hindi.

We Punekars pride ourselves in having the most fluent Marathi that can be heard. True to the saying- Marathi asavi punekarasarkhi, our Marathi is unique. Grammatically fluent, flawless, and purest form of Marathi can be heard only in Pune. In other places, English words have English meanings. In Pune, English words have Marathi meanings. It’s a foul if you talk more than 5 words in English at a stretch. You talk like that and you are branded as a person from “convents”. Not that Punekars are not fluent in English. If we want, we can speak world class English. But usually we reserve this for showing off our brilliance on the world stage. Punekars are not scared of languages like Marathi, Sanskrit, for these languages are in their blood. Before a Mumbaikar may realize what is being said, a true Punekar has cursed him in fluent Marathi about 10 times. This fluent, purest, stinging, and hurting (kamit kami shabdat jastit jasta apamaan) is a peculiar characteristic of Sadashiv Peth. People from outside have this notion that if you go to Sadashiv Peth, you return insulted in some way, and you don’t even know it. Yes. As Punekars, we are proud that we can do that! And the fact that we do that in Marathi adds more gloss and class to it.

As good as his Marathi may be, the Achilles heel of any Punekar is his Hindi. Every great person has a weakness. A Punekars weakness is his grasp of Hindi. Being advocates and lovers of Marathi, Hindi does not come naturally to Punekars.  His Hindi speech is riddled with Marathi words, which brings about a comical effect. As a Punekar, we are aware of this limitation of ours. But we hardly care. It’s our approach that if you are in Pune, you have to speak in Marathi. If anyone asks a question in Hindi or English or French or for that matter any other language, we reply in Marathi. Probably it’s because of our fear of talking in Hindi that we resort to Marathi. But yes, Punekars are scared of conversing in Hindi. Unless that Hindi is used to describe historical developments. History brings about the best in a Punekar, and language does not become a barrier. Ask a Punekar to tell the world the stories of Shivaji, then forget Hindi, he will even tell them in Tamil, Telgu, any other weird language flawlessly.

But Hindi. Puneri Hindi is comical. Rather the way we speak it, we make it comical. (Yes we like a laugh!) I don’t have to go beyond myself to prove how bad our conversational Hindi is. Here are a few samples of me talking Hindi:

“Arre e!! aisa mat karo tum… kidhar bhi rang dalo, mere doke pe mat dalo”

“Tumhe Shaniwar vadaa kaise jate hai pata nahi hai? Idhar se saral jao.. Bajirao road ayega.. udhar davikade valo..phir vapas saral jao”

“Aho, pishwi vala doodh do.. sutta mat do”

“Saral Saral bolo na tumhe ye karna nahi ata”

“Idhar kachra mat dalo. Agar tum idhar hi zopte, to tumhe kaise lagta?”

“Arre aisa situation ana nahi chahiye. Haat var hote hai!”

"Woh ushta kharkata sab ekatra karo aur kachrapeti mein taak ke aao"

“Are Pune mein jaisa rastyachya bajucha khana milta hai, waisa Mumbai mein nahi milta!”

“Pune ke dukaandaar 1-4 baje dukan band karke kulup laga ke ghar jake masta aram se zopte hai.”

“Tum amarathi logon ko Sadashiv Peth mein nahi ana chaahiye. Hum log tum logon ka tomne mar mar kar haal kharab kar denge!”

"Bhaiyya jaldi jaldi samaan bharo, mujhe aaj solid ghai hai"

These are just a few extreme cases of bad Hindi I remember. With me there must be a thousand other instances where people tell me to stop talking in Hindi. Ask Ravi or Divya for these- they may tell you more about my bad Hindi!

Nevertheless, I do not care how my casual spoken Hindi comes out to be. I am a Punekar and am proud that I can speak shuddha form of the language.

सरणार कधी रण?

Im posting a poem after many many days. Its one of my most favourite poems, and everytime I read it or listen to it, it brings a tear to my eye. We are all familiar with the heroics of and the ultimate sacrifice by Baji Prabhu Deshpande for laying the foundations of Swarajya. Somehow I feel that the spirit in which he gave up his life for the Hindu Rashtra is being forgotten amidst the political turmoil. These political parties, making caste a basis are divisive forces at work which weaken our nation. We just need to look at Shivaji Maharaj and see how effectively he established and defended a kingdom- a kingdom which grew like the waxing moon. He made no descrimination amongst his rayat. Everyone was awarded position according to merit. Todays politicians need to set Shivaji Maharaj as a role model for governance.(More on this later)

Anyway, coming back to the point, the other day, I was travelling from Pune to Mumbai and was listening to Shivakalyanraja- a legendary musical album describing the important events of Shivajis life. One song in the album is especially touching- सरणार कधी रण?.. . The story told in the poem bought a tear to my eye. Such sacrifices for ideals and principles are rare. Relationships such as these are even more rare. I wont say much, im getting overwhelmed by the sacrifice just thinking of the poem. Here is a link to a video I came across on youtube, which I am sure will definitely touch your heart. Also presented is the poem, written by Kusumagraj.



सरणार कधी रण प्रभू तरी
हे कुठवर साहु घाव शिरी?

दिसू लागले अभ्र सभोती
विदीर्ण झाली जरी ही छाती
अजून जळते आंतरज्योती
कसा सावरू देह परी

होय तनुची केवळ चालन
प्राण उडाया बघती त्यातून
मिटल्या झाले अधीर लोचन
खड्ग गाळले भूमिवरी

पावनखिंडीत पावूल रोवून
शरीर पिंजे तो केले रण
शरणागतीचा अखेर ये क्षण
बोलावशील का आता तरी?

सरणार कधी रण?

Let us rekindle the spirit in which Baji Prabhu gave up his life for the establishment of Swaraj. Let us channelize his spirit as we strive to build a strong India.

On Rajanikants 4th Law of Motion

Title of the Paper:

On Rajankikants 4^th Law of Motion.

Authors:

Chinmay Datar 1.

Special Thanks:

Taniya Bapat 2.

Abstract:

The paper is written with a view of calculating the Rajani Radius(Rajanitrijjya) based on Rajanikants 4^th Law of Motion. The Law itself deals with the movements of superheroes such as Rajinikanth and Flash amongst others. The Law, and its following derivations should not be attempted by normal mortal human beings such as ourselves, for the force that would be exerted is beyond the biological capacity that the body is designed to handle. Superhumans (Heroes) with modified DNA and Superpowerful(and as of yet undiscovered) subatomic particles are the only things to whom the law may apply . The inspiration for this research was provided by a Taniya Bapat SMS forward, for which the author duly recognizes her inputs.

Index Terms:

Rajinikanth, Rajanitrijjya, Highspeed circular motion, 4^th Law of Motion, Persistence of vision.

Introduction:

Newton is credited to have formulated the first three laws of motion on which the whole universe is based. Well, the whole universe follows these laws except for some nutcases termed as superheroes (Rajani, Flash, Green Lantern, Superman, etc). To fit these heroes’ deeds scientifically, Rajani, the great, came up with a new Law- one that shook the earth beneath the feet of Shri Shri Isaac Newton.

Rajani states in his 4^th Law: “If you run at 100 km/sec around a tree, you can see your own back” [1]

While physically, it may seem impossible that this can be true, scientifically and mathematically it is quite possible. 100km/s roughly equals 100000m/sec, which is about 0.0003333 times the speed of light, and hence, speed which can be easily achieved by fast things, such as superheroes. This rules out the problem that heroes would need to travel faster than light. Also as the speed is quite fractional and nominal compared to the speed of light "c", relativistic effects and Lorentzian transformations can be ignored.

On Persistence of Vision and field vision of a human eye:

An important concept in this derivation is that of “Persistence of Vision”. Our eyes, for a short duration, store the image that it catches on its retina. The effect lasts for a very short time, however, if a body moves at that rate, it appears to our eyes that the object is in continuum.  An application for the same is the television, where about 25 frames per second and shown so that the picture appears continuous. From here we can calculate that per frame, 1/25 second is needed for it to be stored on the retina. i.e if the eye sees something even for a minuscule period of time, due to persistence of vision our mind “reads it” for 1/25^th of a second.

The second important concept is field of vision. Looking forward, humans usually have a field vision of 95 degrees as shown in the fig below:

Calculation of the Rajanitrijjya.

(Trijjya, Sanskrit for Radius) Rajanitrijjya, literally, the Rajani radius is the maximum radius that can be used by a superhero to run in a circle to see his own back. Certain assumptions about speed and radius were made to achieve the results.

Rajani 4 says that you need to run at 100km/sec which gives a speed of 100000m/s. The velocity will be linear velocity. V=100km/s. ω would be v/r, and will depend on the radius. 

Scenario 1:

The superhero only sees forward, and has no field of vision while running:

In this case, the superhero need to be at the same spot that he started from in (1/25) of a second. Only then, will he be able to see his own back.

The distance covered by the superhero would be equal to the circumference of the circle on which he is running.

Thus, we have,

D= s*t;

2*π*r = 100,000 (m/s) *(1/25)(s)

2* π *r= 4000m;

r= 4000m/(2* π);

r= 636.66 m, which is roughly 637 m.

However this will be true only if the Superhuman only looks straight ahead.

Scenario 2:

The superhero possesses a human field of vision

The superhuman, at the end of the day is a human, and thus, possesses a field of vision, which Wikipedia states is 95 degrees.

Using this, the human may be able to see his back at a position which is not at the exact same spot on the circle from where he started running, but rather on a point much earlier to that.

A quick glance at the following circle will help answer our doubts.

 

Total field vision is 95 degrees. Assuming symmetry, and assuming the superhero is not cross-eyed (rather doubt it) field of vision per side along the line of symmetry will be: 95/2 = 47.5 degrees.

At any point on the circle, the superhero is running tangentially to the radius at that point. He thus makes an angle of 47.5 degrees with the point from where he started (A) from a point say B. this means that the angle between the furthest vision and the radius is 42.5 degrees. Reminding the reader that the circle has a constant radius (Polar r=a), an isosceles triangle will be formed, subtaining an angle of 95 degrees on the center.

Thus, the superhero would need to run a distance equal to the arc length equivalent to 265 degrees.

Thus, distance covered will be:

(265/360)*2* π *r.

This will be equal to s*t

(265/360)*2* π *r = 100000*1/25

(265/360)*2* π *r= 4000;

R= 4000 *360/(265*2* π)

r= 864.8 m.

Thus if the superhero runs at a radius of roughly 865 m from the centre of the tree, he should be able to see his back.

Now, the widest tree has a diameter of 32 m(from wiki). Thus, radius is 16m. For his own safety, let the superhero run around the tree at a distance of 20m.

Thus,

(265/360)*2* π *20 = s* (1/25)

Thus, s= 2312.5 m/s.

This equals 2.3125km/s

This is just the 1/50^th the speed at which Rajani can run. No wonder he easily sees his own back!

Superhumans having such capabilities have been discovered. The wait is for the discovery of the fundamental units that build up these superhumans. These fundamental particles, although as of now only imaginary have been assigned the term Rajanions by VERN (Vadheev Engineers Research Network)- the Research branch of IVEE.

References:

[1] SMS, received on 14^th Sept, [Taniya Bapat].

Acknowledgements:

The author would thoroughly like to thank Taniya Bapat- still a student for inducing a thought process to formulate the concept of seeing your own back while running.

All material is copyrighted to the IVEE. Any person imitating any research or stealing it (especially non-members) and using it for ridicule, will be given 50 whiplashes. The author or for that matter anyone at IVEE shall not entertain questions regarding how Rajanikant reaches speeds of 100km/s- Go ask Rajanikant himself. 

People wishing to promote fun side of Science and Math can contact IVEE chairmen- Chinmay Datar or Sumedh Dhabu to obtain and a lease to use the vadheev proofs.

Digital Counter Paradox

Title of paper:

On Chinmay Datars Digital Counter Paradox

Authors: Chinmay Datar 1

Special thanks: Sumedh Dhabu 2 Shreyas Bhaban 3.

Abstact:

A reverse thought experiment generated out of the idea to mathematically model a situation of a couple moving into a locked house and generating an offspring and leaving the house only for another person to enter the house.

Index terms:                                                                                                           

Digital Counters, Flummoxations.

Introduction:

Completing work related assignments is kind of boring. Especially if its an assignment that does not make you think out of the box. IT assignments are mostly of such non-creative types. I guess they strive to stifle your imagination and creativity. My new job, though interesting, is making me lose my creativity to a certain extent. To not go completely mad, I try to come up with mathematical formulations and spoofs, to keep thinking and not get engrossed in the world of IT.(I have no idea why its called technology here). Ive come up with some very interesting theories- one about complex numbers has already been shared.. Today, early in the morning, when I have nothing to do, I was thinking of a thought experiment. The experiment is leaving me flummoxed. Why me, it has even left the Grab-all and gobble scientist Shreyas Bhaban (who works not coz he loves his work, math and science, but coz he wants to grab all the money around) dumbstruck.

Assume a room where there is a single door for entry and exit. The room has no other possible entry or exit points.Just the one entrance/exit. Whats inside the room is unknown, so basically its a black box. On outside of the door, there is a digital counter which can count anything real from -infinity to +infinity. Whenever anything enters the room, the counter is automatically incremented by one. When anything leaves the room, the counter is decremented by 1. All elements are counted individually. Elements enter the room when the door is opened at 2n-1 opening and elements exit when door is opened at 2n opeing.( n =1 to infinity)

Although the inside of the room is unknown, what we do know is that the room performs a simple operation of square rooting anything inside at even numbered door opening.

Let us assume that we push the number "1" in the room. The counter will increment to show that there is 1 entity in the room. Now when we open the door again, it will be the 2nd opening, so the square root rule will be applied on "1". This will result in two results: +1 and -1. as it is the 2nd opening, the elements inside will exit. As two elements will come out, the counter will decrement twice, and show -1 as the number of entities inside. Now if we open the door again for a 3rd time, and force "1" inside again, the counter will increment by 1, and show the number of entities inside as "0". Practically this is not possible as we ourselves have pushed "1" inside the door, and definitely know that physically there is an entity that exists inside. 

So, now, a paradox has been generated about the number on entities inside the room. Mathematically, the counter reads zero, but practically, we know it should read 1. This paradox has been labeled the Digital Counter Paradox or DC paradox.

The paradox has been generated for exclusive use for IVEE. Any reproduction will be charged with 50 whiplashes and brain-washing. The paradox is created to confuse people. People attempting to solve the same with mass-energy-momentum conservation or any other methods shall be deemed too nerdy to be vadheev and be permanently disqualified to visit IVEE blogs and posts.

Raoenous- The Greed God of Appetite

Raoenous (Born 14 Feb 1989) (Greek Ραοενους, हिंदी- रावणस, pronounced rav-en-ous) is a Greed god well known for his voracious appetite. Raoenous was born in the congested city of Mumbius Strip on the western coast of the country of Greed. The country of Greed came to be called so, as the rulers and their ministers had become exceedingly greedy, and devoured everything that was meant to be for its people. They had ravaged the country so badly that while they were busy relishing the fruits of their mismanagement, the country was crawling to its death severely lacking vitamin M. Raoenous was born specifically to show the world that one can be greedy without disrupting the vital organs of the country. He specializes in the form of greed that no other ruler dare to touch- appetite. Raoenous is well known for decimating anything edible with his bare hands and is known as the most efficient destroyer of the scourge of the middle class- an oversized food platter. Raoenous is known to have slayed many a hard to finish dishes and his battles with such dishes have now become a part of the folklore.

Personal History:
After spending much of his childhood in Mumbius strip, Raoenous shifted to the city of Puneous- known all over for its bizarre eating habits – to test his appetite and gastric strength, and spread the greed of appetite after he realized that he had no hopes of completely cleansing the plates of Mumbius strip. While initially it was hard for Raoenous to settle in Puneous for talking in an alien language that Puneons could not comprehend, thanks to the efforts and tutoring of the puny citizens of Puneous to make him understand their language, did Raoenous finally settle in. The Puneons also made him realize his goals and set him on the right path. [The only time ever that Raoenous felt vulnerable in his place in Corn-o-Coepia Electronica, the center for vadheev knowledge, he made an attempt to give it up for a place in the revered halls of Mechania, which also bespoke of infinite placement opportunities, only to be turned down by the Wise Goddess of Mechania, who later did find satisfaction in befriending Raoenous]

Raoenous gathered a large group of supporters who helped in several of his battles. Some of them worth taking a note are Chimeras, Dhubus, Madbena, Devious, and Virus just to name a few. In his youth, Raoenous had amorous feelings (a thing, colloquially) for the Greed Goddess of Marks- Marksvize, ever since the two had fought a bloody battle for a place in the higher echelons of the Corn-o-Coepia Electronica. However, the attractions faded away after a few years and resulted in a cordial friendship. Ever since Raoenous got rid of this trifling distraction, he concentrated hard and strong on fulfilling his destiny of destroying foodstuffs singlehandedly.

Raoenous achieved fame all over Puneous for eliminating the arrogance of hotel owners by conquering their skullduggery of making profits on unlimited buffets. Such was the fame of Raoenous that even in the city of Food, Puneous, where the greatest warriors of the Bhukkad tribe- that the conquerors of the Sadashiv Peth foodathon and Chimeras-the God of Vadheevness reside now salutes him for his greedy appetite. Such are the incredible feats of Raoenous that rising from his obscure origins; he was deified by the puny citizens of Puneous as "the Being" and the "Greed God of Appetite". Truly, if there was an X-men origins story, then this was it, for Raoenous earned the right to be called one.

After being deified in Puneous, he moved to the pearly gates of the heaven of greed itself- Texasia. Raoenous left after the fall of the Empire when everyone left Puneous except Madbena. Texasia- where big means huge and jumbo means humungous, [including trivial things such as onions.] was an obvious choice for Raoenous to go to. There were no bounds to Raoenous’ happiness. Finally Raoenous will be able to satisfy his ravenous and insatiable appetite.

Raoenous and his battles against Food.
Skirmishes with Mon-Genes: Mon-Genes was a mongrel. He cheated the corn-o-Coepia by providing less than satisfactory portions of cake as tribute. The Council of the Great Sparks of 09 had specifically assigned Mon-Genes to supply a portion of cake. However, most of the time, this did not materialize. Raoenous, now on the Chair for Revenue generation was outraged at the non-subservient nature on Mon-Genes. He was pissed. One day it happened to be the happy birthday of the Greed Goddess of Marks- Marksvize. Raoenous decided to extract revenge on Mon-Genes on the occasion. He requested Mon-Genes send two of his finest creations- Brave warriors of terrifying size- Choco Kak and Pina Kak. The two warriors arrived and had no idea that they were entering an ambush. No sooner than they arrived at the Gymnasia, they were brutally murdered. This did not satisfy Raoenous though. He wanted to show Mon-Genes just how much he hated him for not giving him the revenue. He cut off Choco Kak and Pina Kak limb by limb and stuffed them into his gargantuan mouth clicking pictures to be sent to Mon-Genes. Mon-Genes got scared, and ever since, Raoenous enjoys a special treatment. He even got his Mastani Kak delivered from there on his happy birthday.

While the battle may not be significant, it sure was the first, where the wrath and appetite of Raoenous was full displayed.

Battle of the Charcoal Pit:The battle of Charcoal pit was the foundation stone in establishing Raoenous toward deification. It occurred around the time of the great Spark of October 2009, where Raoenous was a part of the elite knights of the Cores. Bothered by the lack of support shown by the Pit-bull for the Great Spark, the major leaders of the Core Council decided to demolish the high and unconquerable halls of the Charcoal Pit- a unique fortified pit situated on a high hill. Rumors were flying high that its food would test the appetites of many proud Carnivori of the Core Council. When the Core Knights reached the base of the impregnable fortress, they realized that the elevator to the pit was not working. The dysfunctional elevator stopped purposely as scorched earth policy to slow the advancing army of the Cores only teased Raoenous’ appetite and awakened the fury inside him that made him vanquish any and all forms of food. The Knights had individually destroyed what they were meant to destroy while Raoenous was his second platoon of chicken. But when Lord Bhatius finally entered, Raoenous got his final chance at the third platoon. Long after the other Council members had had their fill and were at the end of their tether, having finished joking and even dozing, Raoenous had a major part of the third chicken platoon and even Lord Bhatius was surprised. That Raoenous had a huge appetite was generally known, what this Battle signified was his own patience and the others' awe at his prowess. Sadly, the Council split soon and never again was such a spectacle beheld by the entire Council.

Battle of Goodluck: 

The battle of Goodluck was one of the shining examples of how Raoenous could single handedly defeat food. Raoenous, an Argonaut at the time, preparing hard for the Battle of Regatta, after late night training went to the battle ground of Goodluck with his fellow Argonauts. Raoenous was famished after a rigorous training of heaving heavy wooden oars and lifting boats up and down the incline. Well, his fellow Argonauts were hungry for success too. They could not believe their luck when they encountered an abundance of food, and set about outright devastating everything in the way. A lot of Argonauts including Chimeras and Neelius had had enough of food after a while and gave up. So it was all down to Raoenous and Somaglutton to finish off the ever piling food. After a while, when there was no hope, even Somaglutton-the King of Greed of appetite gave up, leaving the almighty Raoenous to finish off the three platoons of Humongous chicken singlehandedly, which he promptly did. Raoenous became known as a warrior of the greed spirits and was considered as an equal to Somaglutton after this victory at Goodluck. Raoenous' fame spread far and wide over corn-o-Coepia and this became a foundation in his rise to greatness.

Combatting 'The Urge':It was a day of triumph. Squire Makdus and the Lady Abiera had managed their negotiations with the wise University of Puneous successfully, which guaranteed a huge sum to help make the Great Spark of October 2009 a grand success. There was merriment everywhere. But Raoenous would feel content only after a wholesome meal. So he took his troops to attack the Dining halls of Makk Donaldus, where he was possessed by The Urge. The Urge is now a fable travelling across lands, with its imitations being in demand from greats such as Chimeras and Madbena too. The Urge prompted Raoenous to try sweeping off the foamy tops off the magical drink of Kok Flot with his index finger, much as a knight in shining armor would sweep a damsel in distress away from thugs. Only, Raoenous’ first love has always been all that is edible. Ergo, it was only natural that he would be visited by such an urge sometime in his life. It was almost like Imprinting, from the dark and bloody legends of the Twilight Saga. The Urge became so famous, that the other lords tried it to much satisfaction, and Makk Donaldus is also contemplating a promotion campaign using The Urge and his 'I'm lovin' it' slogan beautifully put together.

Hacking the Carrots.Once, after working late into the night without having dinner, Raoenous and his fellow associates discovered to their horror that they were constantly being tormented by food. Food seemed to enter the minds of each and all, playing mind games which enraged everyone. Raoenous, having low patience in this respect lost his mind, and taking initiative from him, his team followed suit and began a quest to capture execute cook and eat food. However, it was nowhere to be found. They searched far and wide- including the unlikeliest places such as the Puneous Iron Beast Station. Finally, they brainstormed about possible locations and came to the conclusion that it was hiding at the royal residence of Goddess Marksvize. Raoenous and his band promptly set off for the heavenly abode. On reaching the place, they found food hiding in the kitchen- Rice, Lentils, Maggi, Bhel, Carrots and what not. However, Onions could not be found no matter how hard they searched. Raoenous, livid at the lack of Onions went on to decapitate the poor carrots, draw and quarter it, and chew on it piece by piece till Onions showed itself. A large stew of all the food was made, and obviously, the largest Portion was consumed by Raoenous.

This event provided the greatest platform for Raoenous to portray himself as a ruthless leader and the conqueror of the conquerors. Truly, this even led him past Somaglutton to be crowned as the Greed God of appetite.

Other Battles:Raoenous went on to single handedly demolish smaller armies of food all on his own. Small kingdoms such as the Nation of Barbeque were easy pickings for him. To protect themselves from this continuous onslaught, they heaved themselves on the back of the fierce Sayaji to good effect. However, the Subway that connected Raoenous’ residence to corn-o-Coepia suffered a continuous brunt of his fury. Convinced that it was the best meal for the value place, Raoenous kept raiding it virtually every day. In between many feats were held to celebrate and honor Raoenous' love of food, a feat rivalled only by the Lord Kumbhakarna's love of sleep in the mystic lands of Ceylon.Such battles only enhanced an already glittering image of Raoenous.

Doing the Dew:
After hacking down a mountain of food all alone, Raoenous stumbled upon this secret weapon. The weapon gives him the superpowers to digest all. It’s a rare liquid- some say its liquid gold, found in the distant mountains, and can only be collected in early mornings when it is in dew forms. We label the mystery liquid as Mountain Dew. Every warrior, every tyrant, every lord, every emperor - has a weapon. The weapon is their strength, the weapon is their inspiration. For Raoenous, it was his trusted flask of Dew. Dew is to Raoenous what Spinach is to Popeye. the elixir of strength and an appetizer for a massive foodfest. Raoenous, much like the wizened old Alastor Moodius, has his trusted bottle of Dew always in his satchel, and rarely shares it with anyone else for it may give them his superpowers. The other lords often wondered what drew Raoenous to the Dew, since they could not fathom its greatness by themselves. But the real secret lies in an inscription accompanied engraved on the Dew Bottle: “Omnes formidamus. Etiam faucibus siccat. Ipsum timor”
But to Raoenous it only meant “डर सबको लगता है , गला सब का सूखता है . डर के आगे जीत है“

All Hail Raoenous:
It was the festival of Dewaali, celebrated with much pomp and splendour in Puneous. Lady Madbena had arranged a feast for the Core Council and squires, also to celebrate the grand success of the Great Spark of October 2009. Many delicacies were prepared, and the exotic flavours only added to the festive atmosphere. While everyone was waiting for Raoenous to declare the feast open, Raoenous seemed to have had a little bout of nerves. The Council thought it was because he must have felt that his powers and talent may have been imposed upon his contemporaries often, but in reality it was his half-empty flask of Dew which had put him in a sombre mood. The Council, feeling pity, decided that they would give up their portions to the Being, and did offer them indeed. But Raoenous was in a different mood, he posed for a portrait that would indeed prove him worthy of his name, but in the end showed real character when he shared the delicacies with everyone at the table.

Although this article is written to commemorate the many exploits of the Greed God, it would be foolish to the point of being criminal not to mention Raoenous' loyalty, his straightforwardness, his patriotism and his integrity. Always one to adhere to his scruples, no matter what the situation, Raoenous would go to any lengths to ensure that his point reached across. He was, and is, always loyal to his friends and keeps in touch through the advanced communication channels now available at everyone's disposal.

We would like to take this opportunity to thank Raoenous for his condescension for letting us write this memoir, and also his graciousness for letting us publish it. Finally, we take this opportunity to reiterate, that we do, with all our hearts, always love you, Raoenous. Or as he is lovingly called by his friends, Rao.

Dhabus Complex and Datars iParadox

Things written in (()) are alternatives

Title of paper:

Datar iParadox extended on pioneering work about Dhabu Complex Theory  :  the reality about ‘i’, the mathematical paradox

Authors: Chinmay Datar 1 and Sumedh Dhabu 2

Special thanks: Anant Devi 3

Abstact:

This paper presents an interesting and shocking mathematical paradox about ‘i’. For this we need to consider the life of engineer. The two most important parts in the life of engineer are considered here: studies and girlfriend. Then based on Dhabu Complex theory, authors provide intuitive and practical proofs for this paradox.

Index terms:

Datar iParadox,  Dhabu Complex theory, Buzz (!!), engineer’s life

Intro:

This theory has been largely developed thanks to a timely and fruitful vadheev commenting on a Sumedh Dhabu Buzz. It is essentially based on the Dhabu Complex Theory, and includes extensions known as the Datar iParadox. Anant Devis axioms provide an insightful perspective regarding Dhabus Theory. I would like to thank both of them for playing a significant part to inspire me to conduct another vadheev formulation.


Let us begin with a basic understanding of Dhabus Complex Theory. Sumedh Dhabu, a great mind recently came to conclusion after a string of mind boggling facts about dreams and realities. Dhabu goes on to imply the complex theorem to life, by stating, 
"Life is Complex-One needs to consider the real and imaginary parts separately" 
Dhabu has come up with this theorem through sheer perseverance and dedication in the past 4 years. He conducted experiments on himself and his friends to establish this golden rule, prompting me to think further and expand it. Here, I have collaborated with the great man himself and using some theoretical results obtained by Anant Devi, come up with the Datar iParadox An explanation for the same is given below. Mathematical understanding along with a sense of humour is a must for this, and those ill suited or dumb enough not to understand complex numbers and other associated topics need not read further.


Mathematical analysis of Dhabus Theory leads to a quite interesting paradox, known as Datar iParadox. We have tried to analyse and help laymen understand this paradox. here goes:


Consider an ideal life for a student (MALE) entering Engineering. Since he is entering engineering, he has a dream, but then there is also a reality, which are unfortunately, conjugates of each other. 

In India, it is everyones dream to one day land up in  IT engineering and end up getting bucketloads of marks. Thus, their dreams along with their current dreams which is studies well and a girlfriend(who is ofcourse, imaginary) can be given by the Eulerian identity,

Dreams = e^iT

which will give

 Dreams = cosT + i(sinT)

However, reality is different, and most people do not get into IT engineering. Thus, on Similar grounds, reality, which is studies, minuis the imaginary girlfriend can be given by:

Reality = e^-iT

which will give, 

Reality = cosT - i(SinT)

Assumption:
during engineering, for a good engineer, 
cosT = studies and it is a  sin(T) to have a girlfriend.

so substituting these values, we get,

Dreams=Studies + iGF

Reality=Studies -iGF

(GF= girlfriend.)

Now on a complex plane, both dreams and realities will have modulus and arguments.

Now since the modulus of both are the same, but the arguments are out of phase by 90 degrees, it leads to what Anant Devi has described as having internal "arguments". An engineering student has his dreams and relaities out of phase by a 90 degree argument.

These arguments cause a great confusion, called Life, which crosses dreams and realities. Crossing of dreams and realities,i.e Dreams "x" reality will give a product of the two terms.

Thus, life = Dreams x Reality.

Life= (Studies + iGF)(Studies-iGF)

thus, Life = Studies squared + GF squared.

L = St²+GF²

Over time as one runs through his engineering degree, and completes college, Studies tend to Zero.

So, L = GF²

^{Now, in every engineers life, there comes a point when he applies Chinmays K-means algorithm to come to a conclusion that he has found a perfect girl, or atleast has a blind belief that he has a girlfriend. Considering the life of all engineers and taking average, we can conclude that the value for GF overtime tends to 1.}

Thus L=1.


The paradox comes into picture when the Girlfriend leaves you.
Life turns head over heels, i.e, it changes direction.
considering life to be a vector, by change of direction, Life will now be given as
L= -1.
A life turned heads over heels is called a Problem.
Thus, P=-1.
to solve problems, we try to find the roots of the problems,
now sqrt(P) = sqrt(-1) ="i"
So "i" is the root of the problem.

However, it is rather surprising result. Mathematically,  we have proven that "i" here is imaginary. however, the "i" exists physically, and is the root of all problems.

A major mathematical paradox is thereby generated, stating, is the imaginary "i" really real?
The above postulate is termed as the Datar iParadox and as discussed earlier, derived solely from Dhabus Complex Theorem with help of Devi Arguments.

We can thus conclude that using mathematics we have generated a paradox questioning the nature of "i".
Since the authors are from Pune, they would like to add that any remarks regarding the authenticity and correctness of the theory shall be considered imaginary, and removed immediately from the complex plane.  

Note: CD SD and AD are founders and life fellows of Institution of Vadheev Electronic Engineers. (Authors promise to write a separate document about IVEE and it will be posted in some upcoming blog by CD).