Serious Black

Today, I am writing a rather strange post. It was actually written with a view of posting it as a testimonial on Orkut©. However, this fellow rejected that idea as he thought it would be too much of hatai if I put it as a testimonial. So instead, I am now posting it on my blog, so I will feel satisfied that my efforts have not been wasted. Anyway, the friend I am talking about is none other than our very own “Serious Black”. Here goes:

Actually, writing a testimonial to Serious is a waste of time. But since, as of now, I am not doing anything, nor do I have anything worthwhile to do, I am just wasting my time writing him one. Serious is in my college, and is one of the more famous characters we have. He is known by many nicknames. Black, T-Gun, PeeKing(PK), SB just to name a few. He is extremely elusive, so very little is known about him. He is a topper in at least two subjects per semester- in short, is very unlike Sirius Black(NO relation). The only reason we know SB is because he loves being the centre of attention. There is not a single day, when people make a bakra out of him. What is weird is that he actually relishes such incidents.

Black is one of the only two legends of pachkal pana from our year(the other being me). But when it comes to panchat pana, no one can beat him. His jokes are so pathetic, that it can make a dead man rise from his grave and pull his hair off. He has a very deep and a sonorous voice, which is always heard as distant rumblings anywhere in the college campus. However, no one is able to locate where it comes from, as he is always on the move. His glasses can magnify to infinity but he does not use it to star gaze. Instead, he prefers gazing at wild animals like buffaloes. He is very interested in playing CS and AOE. But then, he is not able to compete when playing on LAN. He is also a kind of a traitor, as he finishes off his allies in friendly fire before being killed, not having killed one enemy. His preferred weapon is AK47, although we have told him many times he would be better off using AK46. He is always geared up to play sports. His favourite sport is badminton, and he is ever ready to play it, even though it is pitch black outside or even if it’s the middle of the night. He also plays “other” non competitive games, like “Foxing around poles”.

He is extremely capable at wooing the ladies, and till now has seduced a glittering array of internationally acclaimed superstars, including the bong babe, Shakira. I don’t know how he does it, but from what I have heard, he tells them that he is a millionaire. Actually, he is not at all a kotyadheesh. What he really is; is only potyaadheesh. He is a great Sanskrit grammatician. This is the sole reason for him being able to make out multiple meanings of any given phrase, when any others fail to even comprehend what is being said. Arguably, he is a genius when it comes to internet browsing, and is an inventor of numerous browsing related things like history clearing, cookie clearing etc.

Black is also addicted to a many things, but mostly suspense. He has got his unique style of creating it, by clenching his fists and covering his mouth with it to give an impression of clearing his throat. I guess that’s the reason why he actually attracts all the ladies- they think that he is serious when actually he is not. He is actually a very interesting character. But since he is a Chitpavan, he does not give out all his habits in a single shot. That’s the reason why I know so lil of him. And that’s why I have to terminate my testimonial.

I am sure that this person is going to have a go at me once he reads this, and meets me in college. but i dont care.. i didnt want my efforts to be wasted...