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Thursday, 22 January 2015

The Impeding Punekar

The last few months have been spent whining and complaining about how atrocious the vehicular traffic has become in Pune. The sheer number of two wheelers is mind boggling. If you go to Fergusson College Road for an evening stroll on a friday, it feels claustrophobic to just walk. Same is the case for many of the other roads in the city. Im not talking of the Peth areas- they are an altogether different story, but of newly developed areas such as Kothrud, Deccan, Baner, Bavdhan, Pashan, Aundh and Hinjewadi. To add to the traffic woes, the roads are ill maintained, and causes jams. Add to that the haphazard way in which the roads are planned, and the idiotic mentality of vehicle users, a healthy mix of all ingredients for a traffic jam is created. No wonder all the roads are choked.

I do not know why 80 percent of Punekars are even allowed to drive! Seriously, these people have no regards for traffic lights, parking norms, traffic flow, lane discipline among other things- if you test them for traffic rules, most of them would fail. (incredibly, you have to pass a traffic rules test before you can get a drivers licence- they have a way around for that in form of "Agents"), Half of these uncivilized people seem to be colour blind as they clearly cannot distinguish between red and green lights- not stopping at them, honking when a red light is present etc. The remaining half are retards who just happen to have sufficient money to buy a vehicle. I mean there are more things to driving a vehicle than just starting it at making it move forward. Lane discipline for one- following speed limits the other. Less said on this, the better. The drivers licences of such idiots should be confiscated forever and, on top of that, these retards should be given life long bans from driving. If they refuse to give in even then, "gadhvavar basun dhinda kadha".

Within this group of people with special needs, there are a few with even more special needs. They are illiterates who do not know what an arrow with a cross over it means. These retards, for saving fuel worth a few paise flout all traffic norms and go wrong side. Seriously, forget a drivers license, these people do not deserve to own a vehicle. Ive started passing sarcastic comments at such "intellectually advanced" people- Call them things like Shaktimaan, Chhatrapati, followed by some kharpus insult in chaste marathi. Most of the time they do get embarrassed, We should seriously stop tolerating these idiots.

Then, leaving these idiots aside, there is another species which can only be described as super idiots. Rikshaw drivers, Taxi drivers, Bus drivers truck drivers can be included in this category. Driving a heavy trailer in the fast lane of a 60kmph highway at 20 kmph, abruptly stopping the vehicle in the middle of the road, starting a queue at any inconvinient corner, stopping 30 feet ahead of a scheduled bus stop, having unclean indicators are just some of their traits. Rikshawalahs- What can we say about them? Less said the better. They have the hand of a certain "Donkey" on their backs, which has made them extremely rude. Lets boycott them for a few days. Or lets oppose the constant fairhikes that they come up with. Let them go on strike. There is so much less traffic that way!

Sure, there are idiots and super idiots driving on the road, but then there are some others who sit in plush "municipality" offices, laying down the bluprints for "town planning", floating tenders to construct roads, constructing roads; who are capable of asking "Who's your daddy" to the aforementioned  idiots. Politicians, Contractors, town planners with absolutely no knowledge or sense of civility or being cultured- all vying for a wad of cash to fill their pockets- building public works. These morons are actually questionable. Its us who never question them for their stupidity. Pune roads are comparable to "ठिगळ लावलेले भिकार्याचे कपडे"- patchwork clothes. Its horrible. Roads are made of pavement blocks instead of tar. No proper drainage system for rainwater. relying on archaic methods, and "nako tithe doka lavna" are some of their traits. These people fail to analyze a problem. Their solution to everything is a jugaad or a temporary fix. eg- roads are relaid again and again, the basic problem of them being washed away never looked at.

Paud road is a perfect example of the genius of all the above mentioned people. Its chaotic. The only problem with it being chaotic is that it would not be if people followed simple rules, or the "municipality" corrected some of their blunders along the road. Lets have a look at whats really irritating. From chandani chowk to Paud Phata(Flyover)


1) Part 1: Chandani Chowk

(Black cross indicates jam because of people not following rules. Blue lines indicate path taken by retards to save a few bucks., orange, green, red indicates normal routes)

2) Chandani Chowk to Bhusari Colony

 
3)Bhusari Colony to Vanaz

4) Vanaz Corner


5)Ideal Colony

6) Ajantha Colony


The circle near Vanaz deserves a special mention as it is beyond all things ridiculous.  (This 4 feet high ventilation chamber needs to be demolished now!) Following is what I had to say about the issue on facebook:




"Fruits" of Sheer Stupidity- Part 1.
This Vanaz Circle on Paud Road was probably designed and created by a road building genius of the highest order. The underpass, immediately after the circle, for some strange reason has a "ventilation" system which sticks out at least 4 feet off the road like a "biased" road divider. Its not even in the middle of the road, which has resulted in narrowing of the road on one side, causing a major bottleneck for traffic going from Chandani chowk towards Nal Stop.
not that the other side is any good either since the leftmost lane is occupied by parking slots, which causes chaos at this place during peak hours.
In fact the whole of paud road was probably constructed under the leadership of this same genius and has some major technical glitches. Now Punekars will know when was the last time Paud Road had a major "facelift" - i.e. concretization- which makes it easier to predict where half of the funds may have gone and why the road is in such a sorry state.
There are many such artificial bottlenecks, all around Pune, probably created by the contractors and our netas (either to whisk of some amount of cash into his pocket or due to lack of empathy for those who actually drive or they are actually dumb and dont understand anything- for which we must thank ourselves for electing them.
I will try to highlight many such things on my blog. If i were the mayor of pune, id refuse to pay the engineer/contractor for showing lack of planning and probably sack him as well. we need to stop tolerating these things and ask the "Municipality" answers for why these things happen. Dont spare these guys now.

.
It is irritating to make your way forward in this maze of idiots. Its tiring. On top of all this, there is non stop honking. Its our tolerance and tendancy to ignore these things which is giving rise to these problems. Lets take a firm stand against this stupidity. Paud Road may be one example, but this is prevalent every where. Lets end it once and for all.   Lets truly make Pune a World Class city!
(PS- Ill be sharing more of these things as and when I get time)

Friday, 5 December 2014

Open letter to department of roads(?), Pune City.

I had written this as a status message on Facebook a while back. Was irritated then with the road conditions- so this was a vent. Somehow, yesterday was vexed with the road conditions again. (This time at Hinjawadi Phase 1) A newly laid pipeline burst in exact 3 days, and a newly laid road has been converted to a brook, with its top surface washed off. This shows the shoddy work thats being done. The contractors should be held accountable for this mess. Anyway, the scenario reminded me of this particular "open letter" i had written, and its worth sharing again. (This time with Pics!) 

That said, I do hope the new government takes some action against all this bullshit contractors.
________________________________________________________________                                                                                                                                     30 June 2014.

To,
PWD Officer,
Pune Municipal Corporation
(If it should be called that- Municipalty is probably better).

Sir,

It rained heavily yesterday. Probably for the first time this monsoon season. And the "fruits" of your brilliant planning and execution of the world class quality of the maintenance of Pune roads became all evident. For cross country motorcycle enthusiasts, such as myself, it was a dream come true. We are fundamentally against the very concept of level roads with proper dividers and lanes. You provide this basic need free of costs. How much I thank you and probably your mother and sister every single time I ride over a bump or a pothole, you wont know and probably wont understand. 

The rains are an added bonus to us motorcyclists, giving us new "levels" to complete the game Motocross Madness Pune. How beautifully the rains have dislodged loose gravel from newly patch-worked roads. How quickly it created a new circuit full of not just potholes, but what can be called as gorges, caves, sinkholes and everything else. 


I salute you for your awareness to fit manholes atleast 6-8 inches below the road level and create a superb obstacle course. That combined with the existing potholes, diggings, gravel, sand and what not is a paradise for us citizens. I was truly impressed by your new patch of the circuit- on Senapati Bapat Road near Dominos Pizza. Its a miracle that you and your team managed to sink an entire lane atleast 4 inches below the usual road level and give us a reason to be excessively excited! I also salute you for one of the most difficult patches that you have created- Near Chandani Chauk Petrol pump, where you had a gravel pit immediately after a speed breaker. Let me tell you- it was one of the toughest patch on the motocross course. Unfortunately, the gravel there seems to have been washed away, and I urge you to create a new pit as soon as possible.

Other than these improved cross country practice tracks, I also take off my hat to your brilliant drainage system, which transforms boring smooth roads into fast flowing streams 1-2 feet deep. It gives a sensational feeling of riding the bike on the everglades of Florida. I sincerely appreciate your efforts to bring Florida to Pune and thus give a glimpse of the west to us citizens- and that too free of cost. 


However, water filled roads dont excite us as much as a potholed filled water logged bylanes in the old city. Oh god, these are wonderful to drive on! The sheer volume of grit, mud, dust, spit and feces that mix with the water and gets splashed everywhere when we ride through a pothole is a joy to behold. I would like to especially congratulate you for creation of these temporary oasis on the otherwise dull and boring roads of Pune.
The Pashan- Bavdhan- Chandani Chowk road, sir, is usually filled with mudslides, pebbles, rubble, stones, trees and branches washed down from the extremely lawfully constructed buildings. This year, we have been denied the opportunity to skid ride through that patch. I hope you look into that matter. 
Also, I sincerely urge you to instruct all PMT bus drivers to stop their buses in the 2nd lane on extremely busy roads and provide us with "Instantaneous hard braking" practice.
Sir, you are a direct beneficiary of the tax payers money as your wages are drawn from the taxes collected from us. The excellent quality of the motocross tracks that you give us, year in year out, every year without fail, just speaks volumes of your love for us, and shows a sense of appreciation for what we Punekars really like and enjoy. I sincerely thank you for providing us with world class motocross facilities to make our monsoon all the more enjoyable.
I wish you heartiest congratulations on probably putting Pune as a hot destination for the sport of street motocross. (If an event such as this does not already exist, I urge you to start one, as it will greatly boost the tourist industry of our city.) I cant really thank you enough for making our lives so imaginative and computer game like. 

Regards,
Chinmay.
A citizen of the city of Pune.


P.S.- Sir, your decision to make key traffic lights at Nal Stop, Paud Phata, Tilak Road Hatti Ganapati Chowk non functional during peak traffic hours was a masterstroke! I doff my hat to you for that! 
Regards.
C.

Monday, 17 November 2014

सृष्टीचे मित्र आम्ही, मित्र अंकुराचे

The movie, Dahavi Pha. (10th F) is a gem of a movie.It is sprinkled with some beautiful songs scattered throughout the movie. Beautiful poetry. 



Here is another one which is very very close to me. Somehow, for some strange reason it strikes an inner chord. Its a beautiful thought.

सृष्टीचे मित्र आम्ही, मित्र अंकुराचे  
ओठावर झेलुया थेंब पावसाचे...

अंकुर त्या बीजाला हवा उन वारा
मायेची छाया अन मनाचा उबारा
पाचूचे मखमाली चित्र जीवनाचे...
सृष्टीचे मित्र आम्ही मित्र अंकुराचे...

लवलवत्या पात्याचे नवे गीत गाऊ
विज्ञाना ममतेचे नवे सूर देऊ
युद्ध नको शांती हवी, शब्द अमृताचे...

सृष्टीचे मित्र आम्ही, मित्र अंकुराचे...

Listen to this song here.

Monday, 6 October 2014

बैरागी.

अजून सकाळ झाली नाहीये. पहाटच आहे पण सकाळ व्हायच्या बाजूला पहाट कलते आहे. अंधारच आहे. उजाडण्याची अजून काही खुण दिसत नाहीये. पक्ष्यांचा किलबिलाट अजून सुरु व्हायचा आहे. छोट्याशा रस्त्याच्या एका बाजूला लावलेल्या सोडियम व्हेपर लाईट्स मुळे एका पिवळट छटेत सर्वत्र धुकंच धुकं दिसतंय. हावेत गारवा आणि थोडा ओलावा आला आहे. पहाटेचा गारवा चोरपावलांनी समोरच्या टेकडीवरून उतरून दबत दबत माळावरून पुढे चालतो आहे. तो दिसत नाहीये, पण तो आहे हे जाणवतंय. ते पहा- दिसल्या त्याच्या पाऊलखुणा? बघा बघा! वाळत चालेल्या गवतावर कसा दवबिंदू ठेऊन पुढे चालला आहे! हुडहुडी भरवतो आहे. आता हवेचा जडपणा जाणवतो आहे. कान खांद्यात लपवून आणि हात खिशात घालून आपण पुढे जातोय. तो ऐका, आवाज आला? मधेच येतो आहे. दूर स्टेशनवर कुठल्यातरी गाडीची निघण्याची वेळ झालेली दिसते आहे. स्टेशन फार लांब आहे हो इथून. किमान १० किमी. दुसरा आवाज आला.. आला तुम्हाला? ब्राह्ममुहूर्ताला उठून देव पूजा संपवून पर्वती वरचा पुजारी टोल वाजवतो आहे. ऐका..नीट ऐका. अरे देव सुद्धा लाखो भक्तांच्या तक्रारी आणि मागण्या ऐकायच्या आपल्या ड्युटीवर जायला निघालेत... आणि तुम्ही झोपून आहात? शुद्ध थंड ताजा हवेमुळे मन प्रसन्न होतंय...बाहेर पडा...शांतता काय असते याचा अनुभव येऊ दे...चिडीचूप शांतता आहे..

अशातच अचानक दूरवरून ती शांतता नष्ट होते आहे हे जाणवायला लागलंय. लांबवरून भगव्या वेशातला एक गृहस्थ येताना दिस्तोल. कोण एक बैरागी-गोसावी वाटतो आये. उत्तम सूर पकडला आहे. कान टवकारून त्याचं गाणं ऐका. कोणत्याही वाद्याची साथसांगत दिसत नाहीये, तानपुरा नाहीये, हां, त्याच्या एकतारी वर त्याने  ताल धरलाय... लईला पकडून आहे... घट्ट... त्या थंडीत त्याचा खोल आवाज घुमल्यासारखा वाटतो आहे...छे छे! खरंच घुमतोय... का हा पण भास? कोमल रिषभामुळे मानेवरचे केस शहारे येऊन उभे रहात आहेत... अंगावर अक्षरशः काटा येतोय. ही काय वेगळीच जादू आहे? . हा कोण आहे? काय गातोय? ऐक नीट...


"मन सुमरत निसदिन तुम्हरो नाम..." आरे! ही तर खां साहेबांची चीज आहे. याला कुठून मिळाली?
"अब तुमही सवारो सगरे काम...." 
" हूँ अवगुनी कछु गुन नाही मोमे...तुम्हारे शरन अब लियो विश्राम..."..." मन सुमरत निसदिन तुम्हारो नाम..."
खां साहेबांची चीज या भटकणाऱ्या माणसाला कोणी शिकवली? खांसाहेबंचीच गायन शैली वाटते आहे... कोण आहे हा? नक्की कोणीतरी असणार.. पण मग तो असा बैराग्यासारखा का भटकतोय?
माहिती नाही- तो गेला. कधीच गेला. गोसावी-बैरागी होता कोणीतरी. रागांमधला बैरागी कानात ठेऊन पुढे गेला... पाऊलखुणा...

Update- I put this post on Chat GPT, and here are the results:



Thursday, 4 September 2014

Sawai Madhavravacha Rang

The following is a "phatka" a type of peom written by Veer Savarkar describing the Rangapanchami festival when Sawai Madhavrao was the Peshwa. The phatka gives a brief description of Pune and an imaginary route taken by the Peshwa to play colour with the citizens.

Sawai Madhavrao Peshwa is known for constructing the famous "Talyatla Ganapati" Temple in Sarasbag.
Painting by Mohan Jadhav.

It may be worth to note that Savarkar had written this phatka when he was only 11 years old, and had never ever visited Pune before to know its areas firsthand... What do 11 years old of today do? A general question...

Painting of Sawai Madhavrao at Parvati.

धन्य कुलामध्ये धनी सवाई, भाग्य धन्यची रायाचे
सेवक हाती यशस्वी असती पुण्य किती त्या पायाचे...
श्रीमंतांचे भाग्यप्रतापे द्वादश वर्षे बहु श्रमले
अटकेला जरी पटका रोविती पुन्हा सर्वजण चट नमले...
जिकडे तिकडे नाम पेशवे, काळ शत्रूसी वाटुनिया
प्रजेत झाली बहु शांतता रिपू सर्व हे हटूनिया....

नाच शिकारी रंग तमाशे प्रजेत होती नित्य पहा
श्रीमंतांनी बेत ठरवला रंग करावा असा महा
या याचाकल पाहून सर्वही लेकी सत्वर होकारा
हर्ष होतसे वर्षप्रतिपदे पुण्यात झाला फुत्कारा...
हत्ती घोडे फौज असा हा समाज सर्वही मेळाला
आज्ञा किली श्रीमंते मग सुरवात करा खेळाला...

पुढे विलसते मुख्य स्वारी सवे थाट अंबाऱ्यांचा
चंद्रबिंब श्रीमंत अवांतर प्रकाश पडला ताऱ्यांचा
पिचाकाऱ्यांचा मार तेधवा फार जाहला बुधवारी
स्वारी कापड आळीतुनी खेळत आली रविवारी....
सलाम मुजरे सर्व राहिले दंग जाहले रंगानी
द्वापारी जसे रंग करविले भगवान श्रीरंगानी...

हरीपंतांचे वाड्यापाशी रंग केशरी उडवुनिया
स्वारी गेली नागझरीतून रंग केशरी तुडवुनिया
रास्ते यांचे पेठेमध्ये पाट लागले रस्त्यांनी
गच्ची वरुनी बंब लावूनी रंग उडविला रास्त्यांनी...
शहरी भिजविले कैक बंगले, चौक गुलाले रंगांनी
द्वापारी जसे गुंग भिजविले भगवान श्रीरंगानी...

झुकत झुकत समुदाय चालती स्वारी ये मग वानवडी
नंतर रंगा आरंभ झाला नाच होऊनी दोन घडी...
दो दो हाती गुलाल गळती लाल छत दिसे उन्हात
हास्यवदन मग राव शोभती शूर शिपाई वृंदात...
लाखो हौदे उडू लागले पिचकाऱ्यांचा मार अती
झाली रे झाली गर्दी एकची वर्णावी ती पहा किती...

-सावरकर.(वय वर्ष ११ असताना)