काल, आज आणि उद्याचे(परवाचे पण) किस्से, काही मजेशीर, काही गंभीरगंभीर, काही उगाचच...काही विचार..
इंग्रजी, मराठी, आणि अर्थहीन भाषांमध्ये प्रकाशीत.
Published in English, Marathi and Gibberish.
"अहो..एक घ्या हो...एकंच आहे.. छोटाच तर आहे..एक जास्त खाल्ल्याने काहीही होत नाही. आग्रहाचा एक...अगदी थोडं देतो/देते..."
हे वाक्य कोणत्याही लग्नाचे जेवण जेवणाऱ्या "आरोपी" च्या कानावर पडले, की "आता गेम ओव्हर झाला राव" हा विचार त्या "आरोपी"च्या मनात येतोच येतो. ते साहजिकच आहे. का ते सांगतो-
दुपारचं रणरणतं ऊन( पु.लंच्या भाषेत- रामराणा जन्माला ती तळतळीत दुपारची वेळ) कार्यक्रम ज्या छोट्या हॉलमध्ये, तिथे माणसांच्या गर्दीमुळे जीवाची जरी नसली, तरी हॉलची नक्की मुंबई झालेली, मागे चांगल्या दर्जाचा सनईवादक(बिस्मिल्लाह खां आणि त्या दर्जाचे) सोडून कोणत्याही सनईवादकाची अत्यंत बेसूर सनई सुरु- त्यात दुपारी १२ वाजता सनईवर बसंत राग, भिंतीवर लावलेले भले मोठे पंखे ख्र्रर ख्र्रर असा काहीतरी विचित्र आवाज काढत असतात.त्यातून एखादा अस्सल पुणेकर असल्यास तो पेंगतच असणार, आणि उत्सावमुर्तींच्या नातेवाईकांमधली चिल्लीपिल्ली आवाज करत हयदोस घालत असणार. अशातच ११.३०-१२ चा मुहूर्ताची घटका भरायला लागणार. गुरुजी माईक घेऊन मस्तपैकी "स्वस्ती श्री गणनायकं गजमुखं, मोरेश्वरम् सिद्धिदं..." म्हणायला घेणार, गुरुजींची ३ मिनिटं झाली आणि मुहूर्ताच्या आधी १०-१५ मिनिटं मुलाची आत्या, आजी आणि मावशी योग्य मीटर सोडून सगळ्या मीटरमध्ये "मंग(ला/ना)ष्टकं" म्हणणार (खेकसणार). आणि चुकून मीटर बरोबर असला ना, तर मंगल जाऊद्या, फक्त अमंगलाष्टकं म्हणणार. काही दिवसांपूर्वी असंच एका लग्नाला गेलो होतो, तिथे तर स्मशानी मंगलाष्टकच ऐकलं- "म्हाताsssरी... पडली तळ्यात बुडलीsssssई ईsssई, प्रत्यक्ष म्या पाहिलीsss.... दादाने वर काढुनी नदीतीरीsss नेवोनिया जाळिली!" हे-मंगलाष्टकात! मंगल कसलं हो डोंबलाचं! काहीही लिहितात! एका लग्नात तर मुलीच्या अतिउत्साही भावाने यो यो हनीसिंगच्या गाण्याच्या(भुंकण्याच्या) चालीवर मंगलाष्टक रचलं होतं म्हणे. ताराबलम चंद्रबलमची अपेक्षा ठेऊन गेलेल्यांनी ब्लू आईजची चाल ऐकून अक्षता न वर्षावता (मारता) चपला मारल्या नाहीत, हेच मोठं नशीब! कुठे काय करावं याचं भान ठेवावं नाहीका लोकांनी... गुरुजींचं काम त्यांना करू द्या ना. उगाच कशाला काहीतरी मधे लुडबुड! जाऊदे, काय म्हणणार ना आपण तरी.
हे सगळं सांगायचं कारण म्हणजे लग्नाला हजेरी लावणारा तो "आरोपी" या व्याधी सहन करत अपेक्षेने वाट बघत असतो खरी जेवणाची. त्याला कोणती आजी, मावशी काकू, किती सुरात, किती मात्रांमध्ये गात आहे, हे काहीही पडलेलं नसतं. आधीच उकाड्यामुळे तो वैतागलेला असतो, आणि त्यात हे सगळं. झालं.. त्याचा अणुबॉंब होऊन स्फोट होत नाही, हेच खूप! वधू-वरांनी एकदा(चे) एकमेकांना हार घातले, की याचं सगळं लक्ष खाण्याकडेच असतं. "लेले-नेने शुभविवाह" टाईप लग्न असेल, आणि श्रुती मंगल कार्यालयात असेल, तर अजूनच जास्त! जेवणाच्या ताटात अळूची भाजी, मसाले भात (तोंडली वाला बरका), बिरड्यांची उसळ, बटाटा भाजी, पुरी, खमंग काकडीची कोशिंबीर, आणि हमखास श्रीखंड किंवा गुलाबजाम खायला मिळणार याचा त्याला आनंदच असतो. पोटावरचा पट्टा सैल करून हा हादडायला बसतो. एक एक पदार्थ घेऊन वाढपी बाहेर येतात. या लोकांना हसताना मी कधीच पाहिलं नाहीये. "पार्वतीपते हर हर महादेव"चा गजर झाला, आणि पहिला वरण भात खाऊन झाला, की "मसाले व्हात... मस्साले वहात" असं म्हणत एक वाढपी येतो. त्याला हो म्हणालात तर तो ढीगभर भात तुमच्या पानात टाकतो, आणि काहीच म्हणाला नाहीत, की अशा थाटात "मस्साले व्हात" म्हणतो, की वाटतं हा पुढे उद्धटपणे म्हणणार "हवाय का नको लवकर सांगा".
असं सुखाचं जेवण सुरु असताना २ वाट्या गोड खाऊन झाल्यावर आधी मुलीचे आई-वडील, मग मुलाचे आई वडील, आणि मग लग्न झालेले जोडपे ओळीने येऊन असे काय तुमच्या ताटात गोडाचा भडीमार करतात की काही विचारू नका. म्हणजे एका पाठोपाठ स्टेन, मलिंगा, आणि मिचेल जॉन्सनला सामोरे जाताना प्रग्यान ओझाला जसं वाटेल, अगदी तसा फील येतो. बर, यांना जेवण संपत आलं कीच यायचं असतं-डेथ ओव्हर स्पेशालिस्ट ना हे सगळे. पोटाचा गेम पार ओव्हरच करून टाकतात. आधी आले तर थोड्या तिखट पदार्थांच्या मदतीने ते अति गोड गिळता येतं. पण नाही.आणि आले की केवढा आग्रह! एक गुलाबजाम द्या आग्रहापोटी म्हणलात, तर वाटीत हमखास ५-६ पडतात. ही चीटिंग आहे! (क्रिकेटमध्ये पण एका ओव्हरमध्ये एकंच बाउन्सर तक्ता येतो!- इथे पण तसलाच नियम केला पाहिजे) आश्चर्य म्हणजे आजकाल "लेले वेड्स नेने" लग्नामध्ये पण हे होतं. काय म्हणावं! निदान आडनावाला शोभेल असे वागा! एकतर ते ताटातलं संपवता संपवता नाकीनऊ येते. आणि वर यांचा आग्रह-
"एक घ्या हो- काही होत नाही!" अहो तुम्हाला होत नाही- आमची उद्या सकाळी वाट लागते त्याचं काय! एकदा तर मी श्रीखंडाचा ओव्हरडोस देणाऱ्या एका अतिउत्साही काकूंना तोंडावर म्हणालो होतो- "माझी शुगर वाढली तर इंश्युलीनची इंजेक्शन तुम्ही देणार असाल तर खाईन". असाच अजून एका बटाटे वाड्यांचा आग्रह करणाऱ्यांना मी म्हणालो होतो- "मला बटाटे वडा आवडतो- पण एकच आवडतो". असं काहीतरी गुगली टाकून त्यांची विकेट घ्यायला सॉलिड मजा येते.
पण खरंच वेड्यासारखा आग्रह करतात. आणि जेवणाधी ताटाभोवती तीन वेळा पाणी फिरवून बसलो असतो, त्यामुळे पानात सोडलेलं पण बरं वाटत नाही. आग्रह अक्षरशः खाणाऱ्याची वाताहत लावणारी गोष्ट आहे! "उदर भरण" डोक्यात ठेऊन पंगतीत बसलेल्याला, वाढणार्याच्या अतिउत्साहामुळे आणि स्वतःच्या "अन्न हे पूर्णब्रह्म" या धोरणामुळे, "उदरे gas भरण" या प्रकाराला सामोरे जावे लागते. बर हे सगळे त्रास सहन करायला करायला दक्षिणा पण मिळत नाही हो! द्यायला पाहिजे.
खाण्या-पिण्यात बावळटासारखा आग्रह करणं ही प्रथा महाराष्ट्रामध्ये ज्या कुठल्या इसमाने आणली, त्याची अक्षरशः धिंड काढावीशी वाटते. "तुमच्या पुण्या-मुंबईत काय मेली कंजुषी...घ्या चहा घ्या.." असे उद्गार काढणारा एखादा नागपूरकरच याच्या मुळाशी असावा असे मला वाटते. जाउद्या... असते एकेकाची सवय. आपण आपलं, पंगतीत बसताना उत्सवमूर्ती ज्या पंगतीत असतात, त्याच पंगतीत जाऊन बसतो, २ आग्रह कमी होतात! पण निकाल तसाही दुसऱ्या दिवशीच लागतो. चालायचंच. पुढच्यावेळी माझ्या शर्टावर पुणेरी पाटी लावणार आहे-
"कृपया आग्रह करू नये. खाणाऱ्याला पचनाच्या व्याधी आहेत. मंडपात नंतर वास भरल्यास आम्ही जबाबदार नाही."
Hello Everyone. As you all know, this year, elections for the LukkhaSabha, the lowermost house of the Parliament will be held. Lukkhasabha is a newly created house in the parliament to cater to the needs of the online folks. People such as the Viral Fever(TVF!) and AIB(All India Bakhchodi) are viewed by the larger audience as the founding fathers of Lukkhasabha.
As you all may be aware, this year I am contesting elections for a seat in the Lukkhasabha Assembly, and to do so have formed my own party- Sadaiva Online Party or SOP for short.The aim of circulating this write up is to make the reader aware of SOP and its views and stands on the laws passed by the upper houses, and what SOP aims to do regarding those laws if and when it is voted into power. A brief manifesto of the same is provided here with.
Id like to urge all sensible voters to vote for me and me only for the Lukkha Sabha, although, probably after the elections, the place of my party will be under threat from out of job congressmen- as predicted by NDTV Opinion polls.
However, sincere request to each and everyone to ignore these people who have so many riches and reaches and vote only for me.
Remember,
"Karunga mein online hahakaar... ab ki baar meri sarkar."
The only association I have with the lotus is that imaginary girlfriend was called that.
Otherwise I am riding on the Modi Wave to get elected.
I am contesting "Lukkhasabha Elections 2014" from the Online Matadarsangh on behalf of the Sadaiva Online Party or SOP. The party has many well known candidates from all over india who are involved in continuous arguments, posting and spamming on twitter and facebook. The propagandizing of my peers is not upto me, and I am not bothered to do it and so you will get to read very less about them. In fact I do not even know who they are. However, as of now, I am looking to have tie ups with a select few groups of people, and have strategic instructions from the party head regarding how to do so, which will be revealed in the Manifesto.
My pre election agenda is short and succinct. I do not want to look too overambitious like khujliwal, and so will restrict myself to only my matadar sangh.
The manifesto of my party-SOP(Sadaiva Online party) is as follows:
My key agenda is to improve mobile net connectivity via intelligent deployment of femtocells and thereby accomodate more users in an already congested radio spectrum. This will lead to increased connectivity and higher data rates thereby leading to more number of people being "online". My ultimate agenda is to improve the penetration of the cellular market into rural and forested areas of India, thereby making India an always online entity. With it, will come more followers on Lukkha side, and we will be able to improve the structure and organization of lukkhas from the grass root level.
The second agenda of my elections manifesto is to declare Pune as a cultural capital of India, and thereby ultimately lead to Vaticanization of Pune minus the religious frenzy, pro the cultural activity.
It is also my agenda to wholeheartedly support Baban from esakal for his creation of Vegla Vidarbha along with inclusion of USofA to form Neo-Vidarbha an online state in the world of Muktapeeth.
It is a high priority to recognize the work of literary greats such as Prachi Saptarshi, लुनाधर भ्रममे, both of Muktapeeth Pratikriya Fan Club fame. It would be my obligation to see to it that these luminaries are awarded with Dnyanpithla Puraskar, or Sahitya Chakki-Dalan Puraskar for their literary greatness in the flour mills of esakal.
Our nominee for this years Dronacharya Puraskar would be the great teacher-पोतदार पावसकर म्याडम for teaching so many incredible students in Yeravda and Nana Wada. I will make sure that she is given her due.
Our agenda on the Junk/Street Food Security front is quite straightforward. It has been observed that there is a huge disparity on the amount of Bakarwadi received in Shinganapur, which is greatly below the national Bakarwadi line. Such unjust distribution of basic resources will be looked into, and demands of locals- who have a strong student lobby which voices to have a continuous supply chain of Chitale Bakarwadi from the plant to Shinganapur, will be implemented. It is our aim to make sure that Bakarwadi, Amba Barfi and other essentials are evenly obtained by the most oppressed class(students).
The party strives for the implementation of POTAsathikahihi law whereby it intends to have a compulsory lunch break in all IT firms from 12.30 pm to 1.30 pm, during which an employee can overrule and bypass any command given by his boss, any level up and continue having his lunch without attending conference calls. The same will be applied for late night pizza breaks between 11pm-00am. The law enforces the boss to arrange for pizza for the employees working overtime.
The party wholeheartedly supports and approves of the MNRaga scheme, where music enthusiasts can listen to classical Ragas from Morning to Night. The party will strive to make the MNRaga more transparent by publishing the bandish collection, not bowing down to the dynastic views of the powerful. Moreover, it aims to make a annual circuit of classical concerts all over india. MNRaga also plans to encompass contemporary Indian Rock, Folk, Jazz and Fusion, and will strive to create a strong anti Bollywood Aam Adani Party filter.
The party has strong interests in strengthening the RT-RTI(Railway ticket- Reservation In Time) Act. The party aims to include IRCTC site within the framework of this act and make sure that no person trying to book an online ticket in a long distance train suffers from the brazenly slow internet speeds and gets instant connectivity. Special time slots will be allocated for Engineering students and benched IT Consultants studying and working out of town for booking Tatkal tickets. We plan to implement the Students Care/Student Train (SC/ST) Quota and Outstation Benched Consultants(OBC) Quota a combined of 50 percent reservation in any given train journey at any time.
The party believes in complete online secularism, and as such aims to bring all components of the society on level online playing fields. Special attention needs to be given to the student community who are the biggest contributors on net, yet suffer extremely degrading treatment. The party accepts that although Quorans form an online minority, they are essential in fabric of the online society, and thus strives for their betterment and strives to increase their respect amongst other socially online peers. Although the majority of online folks are Facebookists, (unjustly termed as Fascbookists, by the commentists) it is our aim to aim to not exclude any online community in the spectrum of the society. However, at the same time, the party believes in an "Appeasement of None" policy, and will crack down on any cross-portal riots between the various online groups- irrespective of the social organization- facebook, quora, twitter, youtube etc.
The party believes in Web Development Politics, and does not support nor indulge in the like garnering and vote up politics of facebookists and quorans. Web space development and cloud space is to be given for web development without any social network bias. The sole motto of the party is "Sab ke saath, sab ka manasik vikas"
The party has a strong support for implementing a Jan-Local-call bill wherein any call within anywhere in India will be considered as a local call. The party is pro disbandment of archaic and colonial tariff charges such as "Roaming", "Incoming" etc. The party will strive for a strong Jan-Local-Call bill if it is elected to power.
The party takes a strong anti-corruption stand, and aims to expose and boot out fraudsters and scamsters such as Nigerian Prince, Snake eating Alligator, Trojan Horse etc.
The party aims for Protection of women in the online world, and will create a database to track and store known profile stalkers. Fake profile stalkers will be given the capital punishment of having their profiles eliminated.
Right to Education Act is crucial for SOP. SOP aims to make students aware of the constructive online time management scheme launched by the party to inculcate studying habits using the internet. Other than that, SOP aims to take appoint DO Academy to teach students how to write online SOPs for higher education. Ultimately it is our aim that free online education reach the masses.
The party strongly believes in empowerment of women and providing women prime space in the online world. The party aims to implement automatic like buttons and "You Look Hot" comments on profile pics of women to boost their image.
Since it is fashionable to run governments with remote controlled robots, the party aims to generate an Ant-Colony Optimization based Robots with Swarm Intelligence in the smooth functioning.
Other than these crucial manifesto points, SOP is looking forward to forging alliances with other members and friendly parties, which may or may not be aligned with the SOP ideology. The primary aims for this are garnering support by addressing the whims, fancies and difficulties of friendly parties. A few highlighted supporters that are seeked are:
Filing a FIR with CKBI Special Agency for an enquiry regarding who sends Ajay unwanted teddy bears, while making sure his Swayamwar proceeds without much fuss.
Launching a new National Weightloss Committee with Swami Aaraamdev as its head and the legendary Long Distance Runner and actor from Bhag RaKi Bhag Ravi Kishore as its President.
Formation of a SIT committee to explore the role of Nilu Phule in connection withAnant Shindes involvement with the Gajra Gang, and if ruled in favour, give a clean chit to both.
Sponsor a swayamwar for an unnamed puny ally utilizing GSCs(Gadchiroli Sahakari Society) funds. The swayamwar consists of playing the guitar while dancing. *The results of this competition will be rigged so that there is only one winner.
Our allies from Bengal Online Association are crucial for our coming to power and thus to garner their support we aim spread the word that Bong Babes are hot, even if its partially or completely true or untrue respectively.
Our policies regarding the online associations from the states of Tamil Nadu and Kerala vary every day. Our manifest includes incubating and maintaining cordial relations with these stars by supporting CSK in the upcoming IPL.
Pune Online Matadar sangh is crucial for our victory, since its our biggest concentrated "like bank" and will be subject to special interest from us. We are likely to field a lot of allies from the city by bringing up sensitive issues such as who are better- Punekars or Mumbaikars and ruthlessly expose Mumbaikars from a Punekars point of view.
That said, Mumbai forms the 2nd biggest stronghold, and as such, we aim to seek their votes on the issue of presence of beaches of both- sand and human nature in the city and its amazing night life.
Delhi is not particularly high on our priority list, since we have come to a conclusion that it is beyond our control.
As of now, these points are the key features of the election manifesto of SOP. Any additions or changes to this, will be reflected on the party blog- chinmay-datar.blogspot.com.
Remember, for this years Lukkhasabha Elections, vote only for SOP. Our symbol is very easy to remember- the Green Dot from facebook. It is our promise that once elected, we will maintain the green dot for as long as we get support.
Green dot pe marna nishan, ab ki baar sirf meri sarkar!
Remember Our symbol is not a cycle, not an elephant, not a chaata, not a jhaadu, not a lotus, not a train, not a bow and arrow. Its a simple every day green dot.
Stay online, vote for the green dot, bring SOP to power!
A few months back I had read a quote attributed to Ibn Batuta- "An old, frail man set out to journey around the world and after a few months a young story teller returned." Without dissecting too much into the quote, just absorbing the essence of it, shows the beauty which lies at the heart of travelling. It gives you experiences, it gives you memories, it makes you a story teller. In the ongoing robotic and monotonous life the heart always yearns for a new journey, to explore a new place. But our inhibitions and so called commitments stop us in our path.
For me, wandering around is natural. Ive had many escapades in and around Pune. Especially on weekends. Numerous treks, bike rides, hikes, trails to get away to a quite place, be intimate with nature. It was frequent. All that ceased with my arriving in Singapore. Ive had not more than a couple of get away from the artificial life in the past year. Bintan was a superb experience, but it left the heart craving for more. Somehow those thoughts were suppressed once I came back to Singapore. However today, Tarika, a friend of mine shared a link of 20 awesome destinations in India, and that craving for wanderlust gushed forward.
Ah there is so much to see in India- leave alone the world! That is now going to be my next destination. Ive visited Rajasthan, Kerala, Orissa before, Maharashtra is my home state, and Ive been to many places there. Have done a few treks in Uttarakhand, Karnataka, Madhya Pradesh, but still I feel I haven't seen a lot. India is colourful, it is vibrant, it is unique. The rate of change of the rate of change is very very rapid. Every 20 km, you find something unique. There is so much to see! I guess 1 lifetime is just insufficient!
Anyway, thinking along those lines, I drew up a list of 10 Destinations in India that I want to visit in the next 10 years. India is massive and can only be slowly explored in the next 10 years. I guess I need to find enough time and money to visit these, so giving myself plenty of time! Hopefully Ill get a job in India which demands lots of travelling! For me, travelling needs to be spiritually awakening. Stones and constructions may be beautiful, but the biggest connect is with nature.
I remember one such incident vividly. It was an obscure village in Orissa somewhere between Jagannath Puri and Bhubaneshwar. On the sea coast. There was no electricity. I was sitting in this Chandi devi temple situated right on the beach, and the only thing I could hear was the waves crashing outside and the occasional breeze that was stirring the temple bell. I crave for such moments of solitude in nature. Just experience the quite. The list ive drawn mostly considers that. Although Im quite sure Ill find some way to be in the noise yet be so away from it that it will barely affect me.(My trance mode as my University friends call it!)
Im sharing photos for the places which made me really feel to want to go there. Photo credits to the photographers.
My earlier wanderings have given me a glimpse of Kerala, Rajasthan, Orissa which I have captured on camera. Other places, I wasnt so fortunate. Its captured in my mind though.
Rajasthan
Munnar
Me at Konark, Orissa
Chandipurm Orissa, Rare sunrise.
Anyway, Here goes the to visit list!
1) Valley of Flowers-Kedarnath-Rishikesh-Haridwar.
Ever since my mother completed this trek and told the tales, I have been craving to go here. Its a paradise. Ive been on a similar trek to a place called Har ki Dun, but it seems nowhere close.
Valley of Flowers
Kedarnath
Rishikesh
Haridwar
I hope this fragile region has recovered from the flooding last year.
2) Manali-Leh
A friend of mine, Amruta, had upoaded a few pics of her trip to Manali a couple of years back, and the place seems to be a must go. Mountains are always charming, and a little bit of snow in the background is always pleasing. Apparently Manali- Leh highway is fantastic.
Manali- photo by Amruta Dhavale.
3) Varanasi
Hemal, a friend of mine, who is probably the best photographer I know captured this snap during the evening aarti on the banks of Ganga at Varanasi. Its a fantastic picture. It made me want to see it and experience it.
Photo by Hemal.
4) Vishnuprayag, Nandprayag, Karnaprayag, Rudraprayag, Devprayag- collectively called as Panchprayag.
Ganga holds a special place in the heart of indians, and the confluence or Prayags of the 5 streams that make Ganga are specially marked. Its one of those things I really want to cover.
Vishnu Prayag- Alaknanda meets Dhauli Ganga
Nand Prayag- Alaknanda meets Nandakini
Karna Prayag- Alaknanda meets Pindar
Rudraprayag- Alaknanda meets Mandakini. Also famous for the man eating leopard and Jim Corbett.
Dev Prayag- Alaknanda meets Bhaghirathi- the chief stream of the Ganga. Henceforth, the river is called by Ganga.
5) Meghalaya
A friend of mine had visited Meghalaya a few years back, and the description was mouthwatering. Given the political instability in North East, its high on the priority list to visit.
6) Beaches of Konkan- Anjarle, Kashid, Harihareshwar, Velneshwar,Kolthare, Diveagar etc.
Diveagar
Kihim
7) Hampi
Hampi was. It was the most prosperous city in India- which probably means in the world. It lays in ruins now. Sends a reminder of the poem Ozymandias by Shelly. The boulders and the magnificient buildings standing between it are a joy to look at.
8) Panipat
This obscure small town in Haryana is witness to three of the bloodiest wars fought in India. The 3rd is a cruel reminder for all Maharashtrians. For me, its a must visit place, to look at where my Bhau, my Vishwasrao, and 40000 warriors laid their lives.
9) Ladakh
A fascinating place. Desert mountains. Sand Mountains, pristine, pure, unpolluted. Ladakh is still a wilderness. Neha Kulkarni, a friend of mine had gone there some years back. The photos that she took were mouthwatering. Must visit for me.
A photo of Ladakh- Neha Kulkarni.
10) Rann of Katchh.
It is speculated that the mighty Saraswati River who is praised more than any other in the vedas emptied her waters here once upon a time. The river dried up, the sea dried up, leaving salt pans for as long as you can see. A complete wilderness, yet a unique habitat supporting some extremely hardy and tough animals. The Salt Desert indeed.
While this remains a fanciful dream as of now, there is one place closer to home which i desperately want to visit- Harishchandragad. The photographs taken by Vivek Kale are simply mindblowing, and the stories of Harishchandragad and its ability to land people in a Chakwa are legendary which makes it a must go.
Harishchandragad, Photograph by Vivek Kale.
Those photographs which have not been credited have been downloaded from the internet.
Last few days, a thought comparing India captain MS Dhoni to Wizarding world legend Harry Potter has been crossing my mind. While it may seem far fetched, on certain points, parallels can most certainly be drawn between the two. Look for example the sports they play- Dhoni is the best player his team has in his position, Harry is the best player his team has for his position. Both have won their teams trophies on their own. However on the flip side, both have never been made accountable for what can be called off limit and shameful behavior, only being saved from the sack because of their perceived importance.
On any other day, I would never have even thought of comparing these two. However, when MSD came out and actually saw "positives" from the messed up New Zealand tour, where he could have done so much more, these comparisons- especially those where both have been given a long long rope- started to surface.
I have nothing against Dhoni the one day captain- he is the best in business, but just his passivity and tendency to throw away test matches just riles me. And despite him doing this for a long long time, he doesn't get the sack he deserves. For me, he should go as the captain of the test team, on his own, but stay in and around the team.
The only other character who gets this long a rope is Harry Potter, and there the comparisons start to form. this long rope syndrome is the only reason i was prompted to write this anyway. I know that many will think that this is probably too stretched and compared, but hey, have a look from this point of view as well. Im giving a comparison table describing acts of Harry and MSD with some comparison parameters. Im not forcing them down your throat, but do have a serious consideration about it.
Point of Comparison
Harry Potter
MS Dhoni
Sports Played
Quidditch
Cricket
Position
Seeker
Wicket Keeper
Status in team
Best player for his position
Best player for his position
Important Cups comparisons
Won the Quidditch Cup for the team when the senior most player in the
team had his final chance (Oliver Wood)
Won the Cricket world cup for the team when the senior most player in
the team had his final chance (Sachin)
Being handed captaincy even though not the seniormost in the team
Captain ahead of Angelina Johnson
Captain ahead of Viru, Gauti etc
Strange selections as captain
Selected Ron Weasley, his buddy when he was a pathetic keeper,
prompting Slytherins to sing “Weasley is our King”. Picked Dean Thomas for a
match- who was again his buddy.
Keeps picking pathetic non performing players such as Raina, Ishant,
Jaddu etc as they are his buddies
Overlooking good players for to include his buddies in the team
Ron for Cormac MacLaggen
Ishant instead of Umesh etc,
Jadeja/Ashwin instead of Mishra etc
Winning Tournaments that he did not deserve to win
Triwizard Tournament- thanks to Voldemort and Cedric being killed
Champions trophy- thanks to rain and England choking
Luck factor
Incredibly lucky to have numerous narrow escapes
Incredibly lucky to have numerous narrow escapes
What happens when you leave them alone in impending danger
Loses his consciousness when he comes near dementors. Has to learn a
new spell to overcome it
Loses his off stump/Edges to the slips when facing inswingers from
genuine fast bowlers such has Steyn, Johnson etc. Has never learnt how to
overcome it
Applying glaze and polish to victories after donkey work by others
Ron and Hermoine do all the hard work to reach the philosophers
stone, he gets all the applause
Gambhir and Yuvraj and Zaheer do all the hard work in WC2011, gets
all the applause for the final performance
Lack of killer instinct in duels
When he has his opponent down and out, uses the expelliarmus spell
and goes on defensive
When he has his opponent down and out, uses square leg, deep
midwicket and long on and sweeper and goes on defensive
Has a bigshot godfather who no one likes
Sirius Black
N. Srinivasan
Most popular person in
Gryffindor
CSK
Atleast 1 official wanted him sacked
Snape
Amarnath
What happens?
Decision overruled
Decision overruled
Being saved by others from tight situation he lands himself in
Number of times people like Neville, Ron, Hermoine, Sirius, Lupin,
Dumbledore save him is huge
Number of times people like Sehwag, Yuvraj, Kohli, save him is huge
Invisibility
Tends to hide under the invisibility cloak to avoid trouble
Tends to wear an invisibility cloak to hide from media when team is
in trouble/loses badly
Framed by someone close to his perceived god father
Peter Pettigrew
Gurunath Meyiappan
Is careless causing others to land in trouble
Sirius Black killed at Ministry of Magic when he goes to “save” him.
So many test matches “killed” when he goes to “save” them by batting
carelessly
Occlumancy
Is utterly incapable of hiding what is in his mind from opponents who
take full advantage of it
Is utterly incapable of hiding what is in his mind from opponents who
take full advantage of it
Other irresponsible behaviour which would have have led to expulsion
if it were done by others
Blowing up Aunt Marge by magic, Driving a flying car to Hogwarts,
sneaking out of the castle into hogsmeade
8 test matches lost on the trot away from home, no overseas win in
last 14 games and still has says “there are positives”
But what really happened?
Let off each and every time and never sacked thanks to intervention
from people holding power- Dumbledore, Fudge etc
Let off each and every time and never sacked thanks to intervention
from people holding power- N. Srinivasan, Jagmohan Dalmiya etc
Why?
He is untouchable as the chosen one
He is untouchable as the chosen one
Its probably time to say good bye to this MS Dhoni the captain, from the test team,
Instead, the Indian test team can do so much with this MS Dhoni the swashbuckling wicketkeeping batsman:
I am not going to over-dramatize this post like I usually do when I tell a small incident as a full blown story. If I did that, Id be writing a screenplay for a movie titled something like "The Graduates Adventures in Bintan" (Cant think of any other badass title). Anyway, its been over 10 days since we went to Bintan, so before I forget its better that I write down. I wont write it as a storyline- like I usually do, but cover the trip in Bad, Good, Better, Best Categories- and yes- provide plenty of photos. So here goes:
P.S: All cast and crew are current graduate students, and as such are prone to easy going approach on holidays, and a lack of activity should thus not be looked into with too much detail or suspicion.
Supporting actors: Lavanya Raman, Sheetal Sinha, Nishanth V Menon
Narration and Screenplay: Chinmay A Datar (Yours truly).
Brief Timeline:
Day 1- Friday 31 Jan.
Ferry from Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal to Bintan Ferry Terminal.
Chilling at the resort, playing catch, volleyball and other things
Photography
Playing Mafia
Trash Talking
Day 2- Saturday 1 Feb
Sunrise
Snorkeling
Chilling out on the beach
Introspecting
Mafia, Cincinati Bablaboo
Catch up with sleep
Day 3- Sunday 2 Feb
Sunrise
Photography- crazy jump and mid air shots.
Chilling at resort
RD Burman playlist
Impromptu jamming session at the Ferry Terminal.
Ferry from Bintan Ferry Terminal to Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal.
Ok, Now that the brief timeline is done and dusted, lets get down to business and classify the elements of the trip. All opinions are personal views of me and me alone. As usual, I haven't cared for what other cast and crew thought. Here goes:
The worst:
Ferry from Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal to Bintan Ferry Terminal.
Ok. Ill be blatantly honest about this- the ferry ride sucked big time. The Catamaran Indera Bupala although fast, after the journey of 1 hour felt like a Vomit flavoured Berty Botts Every Flavoured Beans. There were sea sick people everywhere. People throwing up right left and center. I was one of the lucky few who came out unscathed.
This thing was probably filled with vomit
The gang with an Indonesian Garuda
Local Veg food at the Resort
The Nasi Goreng was okayish, and the breakfast was good, but other than that it was horrible. The Chinese Brocolli with Garlic was some half cooked leaves served with roughly chopped garlic pieces in some liquid. Apparently mix veg soup in this resort consists of octopus tentacles and shrimps and prawns. Less said the better. Thank God we had Lavi with us, who was our saviour from this culinary hell.
If we had eaten at the restaurant this is what we would have got under the guise of veg food... ahh well.
Bathrooms at the resort
Okay, when you operate a resort which attracts foreign tourists, make sure that the toilet blocks have a working flush at the very least. And make sure you dont make it obvious that water from basin and bathroom is not directly dumped in the sea.(Im hoping thats not the case with the toilet block). Also, when you operate a resort, do make sure that you have a constant water supply to the rooms. There was no water in the mornings, and could have caused problems.
Somewhat Stinking Beach
The Beach at the resort was average. Come on, even Dive Agar beach is cleaner and better. It was stinking with all the waste oyster shells that were chucked there from the resort. Although a few meters away it was alright. Also there was too much seaweed for my liking- And seaweed washed ashore stinks. And the sand near volleyball court was littered with shards of glass. Thankfully we did not have a "Basanti in kutton ke samne mat nachana episode over there"
Damn Seaweed...
The Rat
Now this is something you usually do not come across in the middle of the sea, but it was there- and it nibbled on a loaf of bread rendering it not fit for consumption by us. Darn that little pest! Just its presence certified its nuisance value and the tag of vermin. Oh btw, as alleged by Saurabh, Kausik da who was the only surela person in the group was fed up with our braying of songs, and decided to recruit the vermin as his ganda-bandh shaagird. The veracity of this claim however is highly disputed.
Nikita freaks out when she learns that Kaushik Da has a Ganda Bandh Chuha Shaagird- Look at Kau getting into the taan mode.
Okay, enough of the Bad points. But I guess these were all that I could muster up, and that too after lot of thinking. So lets look at the other side now. The Good, The Best, The Awesome and The Crazy things in the trip:
The Good:
The Resort:
Bintan Laguna Resort is very picturesque. It is entirely made from wood, and built on stilts atleast 10-12 feet high- and for good reason. The sea which recedes atleast 200 meters during low tide suddenly rises by those 10-12 feet during high tide. So much so that you can dip your feet from the front porch into the sea. Ahh and its very silent as well. And it stays cradled in the arms of nature, all exposed to the elements. Superb.
Now now... this was fancy!
We had one whole cottage!
The cottages
The Firang Babes
Ok. No beach trip would be a satisfying experience till you see this right? Our resort itself had a few group of firangs but a few babes really caught the eye. OK, we were actually taking turns to look at them. Thanks to the big sunglasses no one could tell where we were staring so it definitely helps! Oh Btw, SumD stays oblivious to such stealthy means. His approach is blunt and direct- which is awesomely cool. There was one firang babe- in purple.. Man she was incredibly hot. Ohh btw, we also managed to catch hold of them when we had gone snorkeling. they were in their beachwear lying on the beach, sometimes in water, which prompted Dhabu to sing "Samundar Mein Nahake" on more than one occasion. Missing such opportunities of bird watching should be criminalized.
Random pic lifted from the net- just for enhanced effect- but ya it was similar.
Sumedh's reaction: Ghar se chale... Khaake kasam... chhodenge pichchha na hum... sir pe kafan baandhe hue.. aare aayaa deewaana yahaa.... This guy is a must in these situations.
Coconut(s)
The freshly plucked coconut brimming with sweet water was our primary hydrator. Those humongous coconuts made the ones we see in singapore seem to be puny, which led to a feeling of being swindled everytime I got coconuts over here. For maybe double it costs there. Ive never drunk so much coconut water in so less time, Indeed I was lucky not to get potassium imbalance!
Such is life.. beach, sea and coconuts.. ahh heaven!
The exchange rate
10 SGD converted to a 100000 Indonesian Rupiyahs or so. So even for a short time, we actually had millions of Rupiyahs. Fancy the feeling of becoming a millionaire in any currency domain- Although the joy was short lived, as simple things cost as much as 25000 rupiyahs. But still the feeling of being a millionaire.
Los Millionaires
MTR Ready to eat
The Veg Pulao, Tomato Rice and Masala Rice along with Bread and Pringles and cheese slices were our saviours. If not for these, and Lavis astute and meticulous planning, we would have starved ourselves. Oh the joy Indian food brings when you cant eat anything else- even though the Indian food is packed, full of preservatives and probably dangerous to your waistline in the long run. 5 meals straight out of this!
Chill in the tropics
To be truthful, I had not imagined that a placed located bang on 1 degree north latitude will threaten me with cold, so I had packed only shorts. But I forgot basics of geoagraphy- land breeze and sea breeze, and they came to torment me in the evenings and night when the temperature suddenly plummeted because of the chill the wind got with it, combined with the high tide. However, it was a welcome change to go from the artificial climate control to natural
Feeling the cold
Kaushik Da's Bageshree
Kaushik Da did not sing that much on the trip. Atleast publically. but I got a one on one concert with him during sunrise. Surprizingly, the 5am raag chosen for riyaz was Bageshree, but hell with timings when this guy sings! Listening to KauDa's sargams in the early morning chill was an experience. Too bad he did not sing too much for this event to rank up higher.
One of the finest bageshree I have heard...Pt. Mukul Shivaputra.
Playing Mafia
Nothing Sicilian. Its just a game. Mafia is always fun. Swindling and cheating and lying is something you can do openly here. Be it outright bluffing, convincing others you are not mafia, coming up with part time alibis, sacrificing some of your own team members for greater good, figuring out the game depending on who has been killed and how etc. Great fun. 2 days in a row became an overdose though, which resulted in lower ranking for the game. Im sure this game has been invented by a joint collaboration of Indian politicians and lawyers working in high courts.
Mafia
RD Burman Playlist
When you want to relax and listen to Hindi "Music" listen to RD Burman. Now that is the only thing which can be termed as "music" and not merely songs. The magic of RDs compositions and Kishores voice is so powerful that even now after 30-40 years after they were made, the songs are still sung. RD triumphs over all other composers from Bollywood including ARR. Nothing against ARR for he makes some good music too, but for me RD is miles ahead. The marker being- you listen to ARR songs, while RD songs you hum and sing when you are listening. They compel you to do so, which leaves him miles ahead. Anyway, with a playlist as shown below, it would be a miracle if this did not feature in the good things done.
C.Datar's DJ Kit
Screw Baba Sehgal... Baba CD is the DJ
Now that is a playlist to die for!
You cant party without these two.
Photography:
We had 4 awesome photographers- Raja, Abhishek, Nishanth and Saurabh, and all the photos Im sharing are clicked by one of them. The place was a photographers delight and many shots show that. The sunrise pics are especially amazing. I stayed away from clicking though. I wanted to absorb the moments. I had my own agendas for the trip and those did not need me to carry a camera everywhere. I enjoyed the trip even more without the burden of photography though! (It will be difficult to keep me away from cameras from next time though, they will feature prominently). Abhishek has clicked some superb mid air/jump shots and gif images of us doing crazy things on the beach.
Thalaiva Raja experimenting
Artistic photo of the resort
Desi Potter
The Great:
No telephone/ whatsapp
Its so good to be actually disconnected from over information and over communication the digital age has bought with itself. If we keep away from these things in our lives, they would be so much more interesting. I tell you, being a communications engineer that the SINR (signal to interference+noise ratio) on social networks is at despicable levels. The world is filled with noise generators- me being one of the biggest. But information sources are few and far between them(again me being one) Noise is ruling the internet, whatsapp, text world, which is actually very frustrating. And like any noise, this noise is additive, and keeps piling on. So it was a great thing for me to clear out all the accumulated noise in my brain. Disconnectivity is becoming such a paramount resource that soon it will be counted as a luxury!
Lavi- the Great!
I have already told, if not for Lavanya and her meticulous planning, we would have starved and in worst case died. So that makes her great anyway. Addition to that she plays awesome Mafia, listens to awesome RD Burman and ARR music, encourages our "bird watching" endeavors and is probably one of the coolest chicks I have ever met cements her place in the Greats list of the trip!
Lavi the Great!
Saurabh Sing
Saurabh does not Sing. He chucks songs in garbage cans with "interchanged" lyrics, unnatural tunes, misplaced words and hysterical takes on all time hits. Be it Hoswalon ko khabar kya, or Jindagi Maut na banjaye in the middle of ocean, this guy comes up with awesome tunes and spoofs. He should have been a standup comedian, and should pursue a PhD in stand up. What makes him make the cut into this list is the insane crap he comes out with, and his unpredictability in delivering this insanity. He is the person to have along with you on a group trip. While Im sure the trip would have been fun without him too, it would have been half the fun. Or maybe half of half of half the fun- whatever that is. you do the Math. His persistence and unintentional intention to break into the room of the neighbouring firang babes at 4 am to get his "camera" was just incredible(All in a state of being half asleep).
Impromptu Jamming session at the Bintan Ferry Terminal
Now this was actually one hell of an experience. There were all sorts of folk percussion instruments stacked up in one of the souvenir shops we went into. We got into the groove creating music with the shop owners and salespeople. And this went on for over an hour. Getting Indian beats out of Indonesian instruments felt awesome, and the gang ended up buying one each of the instrument. But the fusion of Indonesian tunes with Lavani inspired beats played on something which resembled a Kanjira will always be etched in my ears. Wish someone had recorded it though. PS- I found out I have got quite strong fingers to generate loud noise from any instrument. Read it in whatever way you want. :P
Singing Songs in the immigration clearance line
Now this was great! Usually people are very well behaved in front of immigration officers- lest they decide not to complete your formalities and send you packing back to where you came from. But by the time we disembarked from the cursed catamaran Indera Bupala, we were already in a party mood, and the spirit of Bollywood took over. Shameless people like me Nishanth and Sumedh are an asset in this case, for we will sing anywhere. Hindi Songs are like a Pandoras box- you open with one, and they keep coming out wrecking havoc. Out came Lucky Ali, Zubeen Garg, Strings, Jal, and behind all these there is always the lurking spirit of Kishore Kumar. He is there everywhere, behind every song, behind every musical thought. He is truly the evergreen Indian Song. This silsila of song started in the long immigration lines, embarrassing all goras and firangs who were definitely caught up in a sore place, and continued all the way to the resort- a good hours drive from the ferry terminal. The taxi driver though, seemed to be enjoying our not at all in tune melodies.
On arrival visa receipt @ Bintan. We had got similar, but cant find it. Lifted a random pic from net.
Kishore Da's spirit can posses you anywhere and often at very awkward places!
The Awesome:
Sunrise
Being from a place which is located in hills and very near to the western coast of India, and on top of that being an engineering student, I rarely see sunrise. Sunset in our area captures our imagination. Ive got a whole bunch of awesome sunset shots on beaches in Konkan and on the various forts in the Sahyadris. But sunrise is a rare moment for us. So it was a certainty I will witness it. And witness it I did- for two days in a row. The sun coming out from behind a small island and showering all its warmth and glory with all its fiery red form is a sight to behold. Raja, our director took some captivating shots.
The Marathi song “Tejo Nidhi Loha gol, Bhaskar he gagan raaj” from the drama “Katyar Kalajat Ghusali” was in full effect. Here is a link to lyrics for the same, and a version of it sung by Dr. Vasantrao Deshpande- a legendary singer with all the radiance of the sun.
तेजोनिधी लोह गोल, भास्कर हे गगनराज
हे दिनमणि व्योमराज, भास्कर हे गगनराज
दिव्य तुझ्या तेजाने, झगमगले भूवन आज,
हे दिनमणि व्योमराज भास्कर हे गगनराज.
कोटी कोटी किरण तुझे अनलशरा उधळिती
अमृतकण होऊन अणुरेणू उजळिती
तेजातच जनन मरण, तेजातच नवीन साज
हे दिनमणि व्योमराज, भास्कर हे गगनराज
ज्योतिर्मय मूर्ती तुझी, ग्रहमंडळ दिव्य सभा
दाहक परी संजीवक, करुणारून किरणप्रभा
होवो जीवन विकास, वासुधेची राख लाज
हे दिनमणि व्योमराज, भास्कर हे गगनराज
तेजोनिधी लोह गोल, भास्कर हे गगनराज
हे दिनमणि व्योमराज, भास्कर हे गगनराज!
Shendi in full flow!
1st song for the following section, the 2nd song for the preceding section. The legendary Vasantrao sings.
Stars:
Big city people have lost the concept of gazing the heavens to look for beauty. Singapore is probably the biggest culprit. There is so much light pollution here that a very big magnitude star such as Sirius is made to look like a joke. But you go to rustic places such as Bintan and the stars weave their magic. The heavens leave you spellbound. Millions and millions of stars in every direction. Stars forming shapes and thus constellations with fascinating stories having their roots in Greek, Roman and Indian mythologies. I haven't looked heavenwards with such fascination for a long time, and so after getting my bearings and directions sorted, I rediscovered my mojo for the stars. Ive never seen such beautiful sky in a long time. Orion, Taurus, Cassiopia, Canis Major, Southern cross, Scorpio, Centaur, and stars such as Capella, Sirius, Aldebaran, Antares, Canopus, Betelgeuse, Rigel, Procyon, and many many of my old friends showed themselves after a long long time. Ive always known them as Bramhahruday, Vyadh, Labdhak, Rohini, Chitra, Swati, Anuradha, Agasti etc. Ahww well, me and my fascination for these non living supergiants and their stories! It can go on and on and on. I spent a good amount of time watching them weave their magic across the nightsky while explaining their groups, shapes and stories to Sumedh and Sheetal. It was a fantastic night sky. The milky way belt stretched right over our heads. The additional cold wind sweeping from the sea made this experience even more beautiful. But then when everyone else was asleep, I woke up and went for another round of stargazing- this time the resort power supply was off, and there was not a speck of light to fade out any star. And the royal majesty of these far flung superstars of the universe was in full view, rewinding the time capsule and taking me back millions and millions of light years. Anyway, before I start getting too much technical with astronomy, here is a random sky shot with thousands of stars, with camera pointing towards a region between Orion and Taurus.
Just millions and millions of stars!
The Crazy:
Snorkeling
I admit I have never done crazier than this. For starters it takes a lot of convincing to throw yourself off a boat into the sea more than 100 meters from the shore. And even when you are convinced that you will not drown courtesy of a lifejacket, it takes a lot of guts to actually do it, especially when you haven't done swimming in a long long time. The accompanying paraphernalia actually makes swimming even harder. Who had swum with fins and a full facemask that covers your nose and mandates you to breathe through your mouth via a pipe which floats on the surface of the water. Sea water at that mind you! One wrong move here and there, and you end up gulping a mouthful. Its disgustingly salty. But anyway, after hesitating for sometime, I jumped in the water. It was a thrilling feeling of letting go of an unnecessary fear. That shayari from Zindagi.. “Pighale neelam sa..” took a completely new meaning at that moment. For a few of us who actually knew swimming, this was a totally new level of awesomeness. But then there were others like Nishanth and Sheetal who were probably entering water for the first time in their lives, and ofcourse the fact that they survived and lived to tell the tale means that this story means a lot more to them. 3 hours were spent in the sea, swimming, drifting, creating chaos, floating on water, drifting, watching firang babes etc etc. I guess proper snorkeling worth the amount spent was done only by Nikita- she was experienced in this enough to breathe properly with the equipment and Abhishek who spent most amount of time looking at the corals. Rest of us could not manage to look at the corals for more than a minute at a stretch- no difference between snorkeling and reading an IEEE paper then! It was one hell of an experience though- and something Id like to do once again, this time properly though.
Overcoming the hurdles- the biggest winners of snorkeling
Pighle neelam sa behta ye sama, neeli neeli si khamoshiyan, na kahin hai zameen na kahin aasmaan, sarsaraati hui tehniyaan pattiyaan, keh raheen hai bas ek tum ho yahan, bas main hoon, meri saansein hain aur meri dhadkanein, aisi gehraiyaan, aisi tanhaiyaan, aur main… sirf main. Apne hone par mujhko yakeen aa gaya.
Thats all I have to say. My other friends will have their own thoughts, but I don't publish them on my blog. You will have to contact them to know their experiences. Enjoy the tales from Bintan, enjoy the pics is all I got to say. It was a fantastic break from work, and really deserved to be written about.
The Gang...
Our Producers- this pic will do the other one is too scandalous
Thalaiva Raja Singham- Director of the show
And yes this- all this could not have been written if not for the notes written by these multicoloured pens!
