Saharashri may have won the heart and support of Puneities with this IPL adventure having the costliest team and some superstars, but he has failed to touch the heart of Punekars- the true inhabitants and the people who actually represent Pune. Several reasons may be given why this has happened. However, here are a few:
- There is a total disconnect between the players and the city. Not having known the history and importance of Pune and the rivalry it has with other cities such as Mumbai and Delhi, these players don’t feel privileged to represent the city. The only thing they are playing for, it can be concluded is money. The talk, in typical PuLa style, that goes around is “Ata Deccan Gymkhanyawaril aplya prashta banglyat rahatana xyz kheladula kiti dhanyata vatat asel” which infact will have the underlying meaning “Cricket khelnyachya navavar paisa kasa odhla bagha!”
- The fact that Saharashri and the team management decided to sign Ashish Nehra for the 1st two seasons told the punekars of the lowly ambitions of the team. We Punekars believe that Nehra, if he plays “Akhil Shanipar half pitch gulley cricket competition” will still get whacked for 37 runs in 6 balls, forget a proper cricket match.
- The continuous selection of non-performing millionaires who according to many Punekars are people who “very rarely play fast and good and should in fact jump off from Lakdi Pul into the Mutha River to drown in 2 feet of water”
- Players apart, the team, we Punekars feel represents only a handful of Puneities staying in outskirts and not Punekars staying in Pune. This can be reflected from the kind of Hindi songs you get to hear especially given there are so many Dhasu Marathi songs on which one can tap their feet. We have a solution, which will be discussed in Solutions section.
- There is a total lack of quintessential Puneri celebrities, musicians, famous people, controversial people, assal Punekars-such as myself, are nowhere to be seen amongst the people who come to support the team...
- We Punekars feel that despite being a team from the city that hails itself as the “Cultural capital of Mahrashtra” the team hardly reflect any values or customs which are associated with Maharashtra or the culture of the city itself.
- Get players such as Kedar Jadhav, Vijay Zol in the team. We have a connection with them. Also get Ajit Agarkar. We have special affinity towards the great man. Plus, he is a Marathi Manoos, and thus, Pune will be able to identify easily with him. (He had won a man of the match at Pune and had given his presentation speech in Marathi- something which we love him for)
- Chitale Bandhu, Pu.Na.Gadgil, and a few other brands such as Ramesh Dyeing, Sujata Mastani, Durga Cold, Joshi Vadevale, etc. are brand names in Pune. For us these are bigger brands than Nike, Adidas, and TVS, Sansui, Linc Pens etc. All these brands should promptly be given sufficient space on the team kit to display their logos at no cost. In fact, the team should pay them money and try to sell merchandise at these shops which are located in the heart of the city.
|This should be the official jersey and colours of Pune Kit which should be able to win support from Punekars, as this jersey reflects both the culture and authority of a true Punekar.|
- There should be an official slogan for the team which reads: “Pune Warriors- Amchi Shakha Kuthehi Nahi/No Branch elsewhere” to promote the uniqueness of being from Pune. (as printed on the jersey)
- Hire the Pune Kulkarni Katta as brand ambassadors for the club: Sonali Kulkarni, Atul Kulkarni, Girish Kulkarni, Umesh Kulkarni, Sonalee Kulkarni, Mrinal Kulkarni, Salil Kulkarni, Amruta Subhash, Sandeep Kulkarni, Abhishek Kulkarni are all famous Puneri Celebrities and should be made brand ambassadors for the club. Also hire Dhawal Kulkarni as he is a good player who never plays for Mumbai Indians. In addition, also get people such as JV Kulkarni, NM Kulkrni to make the team more educated in maths and graphics.
|The Puneri Kulkarni Katta.|
- Also get in other non Kulkarni celebrities such as Amruta Khanvilkar, Sandeep Khare, Sharvaree Jamenis, Swapnil Joshi, Mukta Barve, Priya Bapat, Make beautiful people such as Sonalee Kulkarni( Apsara fame), Sai Tamhankar, Priya Bapat, Amruta Khanvilkar as eye catching celebrity faces. If that doesn’t help, get Poonam Pandey to inspire players, although Im sure that wont be needed.
- Place huge flexes all over the stadium which display typical Puneri Patya written in English, Hindi and Marathi. If you need any help, we people at Sadashiv Pethi Hukumshahi will gladly assist you. One paati we give you for free here. You can put up a big flex saying “Opposition players who hit sixes here will have their bats confiscated if they hit one- it has been made very clear to you.” “Itar team chya kheladunni yethe shatkar marlyaas bat japta keli jaieel yachi spashta nond ghyavi.” “anya team ke khiladiyonne agar idhar chhakka marne ki koshish ki, to bate japt kee jayegi ye dhyaan me rakhe”
|The kind of true Puneri flex that should be put all around the stadium to warn players from other teams about dangers of playing here, thereby deflating their morale.|
- Instead of having a countdown which goes from 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-Oh-Yes-Abhi, make it 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-Vajwa Re!!
- Just for culturally representing the city, all staff and all players who aren’t on the field and are sitting in the dugout will have to wear a temporary bhikbaali. If players want, they can get ears pierced at Pu.Na Gadgil in exchange for sponsorship.
|This is a typical Bhikbali, worn in the right ear. The management needs to make it mandatory for all players and staff sitting on the bench.|
- Instead of giving metallic trophy handouts as man of the match awards- the man of the match should instead be presented with a Puneri Pagadi, haar, Shreephal(Coconut) and Mahavastra(Shawl) in true Puneri Style. The man of the match, if he fails to draw laughter from crowd before his 3rd sentence shall forego his right on the award as he has committed a foul on Puneri Public Speaking Forum. This will make the press conferences, man of the match ceremonies all the more enjoyable.
|Photo of a true Punekar showing Pagadi and Mahavastra. the Shreephal has not been displayed as everyone knows what a coconut looks like. If you dont, you are one.|
- Instead of playing Hindi Songs, I sincerely urge Saharashri to hire from among the many Dhol-Tasha Pathaks of Pune, a few Pathaks to play live Dhol during the matches. If that dhol echoes in the stadium, PWI will never lose any of their home matches.
Pune Dhol needs to be beaten all around the stadium to make the opposition shit in their pants .