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Friday 5 December 2014

Open letter to department of roads(?), Pune City.

I had written this as a status message on Facebook a while back. Was irritated then with the road conditions- so this was a vent. Somehow, yesterday was vexed with the road conditions again. (This time at Hinjawadi Phase 1) A newly laid pipeline burst in exact 3 days, and a newly laid road has been converted to a brook, with its top surface washed off. This shows the shoddy work thats being done. The contractors should be held accountable for this mess. Anyway, the scenario reminded me of this particular "open letter" i had written, and its worth sharing again. (This time with Pics!) 

That said, I do hope the new government takes some action against all this bullshit contractors.
________________________________________________________________                                                                                                                                     30 June 2014.

To,
PWD Officer,
Pune Municipal Corporation
(If it should be called that- Municipalty is probably better).

Sir,

It rained heavily yesterday. Probably for the first time this monsoon season. And the "fruits" of your brilliant planning and execution of the world class quality of the maintenance of Pune roads became all evident. For cross country motorcycle enthusiasts, such as myself, it was a dream come true. We are fundamentally against the very concept of level roads with proper dividers and lanes. You provide this basic need free of costs. How much I thank you and probably your mother and sister every single time I ride over a bump or a pothole, you wont know and probably wont understand. 

The rains are an added bonus to us motorcyclists, giving us new "levels" to complete the game Motocross Madness Pune. How beautifully the rains have dislodged loose gravel from newly patch-worked roads. How quickly it created a new circuit full of not just potholes, but what can be called as gorges, caves, sinkholes and everything else. 


I salute you for your awareness to fit manholes atleast 6-8 inches below the road level and create a superb obstacle course. That combined with the existing potholes, diggings, gravel, sand and what not is a paradise for us citizens. I was truly impressed by your new patch of the circuit- on Senapati Bapat Road near Dominos Pizza. Its a miracle that you and your team managed to sink an entire lane atleast 4 inches below the usual road level and give us a reason to be excessively excited! I also salute you for one of the most difficult patches that you have created- Near Chandani Chauk Petrol pump, where you had a gravel pit immediately after a speed breaker. Let me tell you- it was one of the toughest patch on the motocross course. Unfortunately, the gravel there seems to have been washed away, and I urge you to create a new pit as soon as possible.

Other than these improved cross country practice tracks, I also take off my hat to your brilliant drainage system, which transforms boring smooth roads into fast flowing streams 1-2 feet deep. It gives a sensational feeling of riding the bike on the everglades of Florida. I sincerely appreciate your efforts to bring Florida to Pune and thus give a glimpse of the west to us citizens- and that too free of cost. 


However, water filled roads dont excite us as much as a potholed filled water logged bylanes in the old city. Oh god, these are wonderful to drive on! The sheer volume of grit, mud, dust, spit and feces that mix with the water and gets splashed everywhere when we ride through a pothole is a joy to behold. I would like to especially congratulate you for creation of these temporary oasis on the otherwise dull and boring roads of Pune.
The Pashan- Bavdhan- Chandani Chowk road, sir, is usually filled with mudslides, pebbles, rubble, stones, trees and branches washed down from the extremely lawfully constructed buildings. This year, we have been denied the opportunity to skid ride through that patch. I hope you look into that matter. 
Also, I sincerely urge you to instruct all PMT bus drivers to stop their buses in the 2nd lane on extremely busy roads and provide us with "Instantaneous hard braking" practice.
Sir, you are a direct beneficiary of the tax payers money as your wages are drawn from the taxes collected from us. The excellent quality of the motocross tracks that you give us, year in year out, every year without fail, just speaks volumes of your love for us, and shows a sense of appreciation for what we Punekars really like and enjoy. I sincerely thank you for providing us with world class motocross facilities to make our monsoon all the more enjoyable.
I wish you heartiest congratulations on probably putting Pune as a hot destination for the sport of street motocross. (If an event such as this does not already exist, I urge you to start one, as it will greatly boost the tourist industry of our city.) I cant really thank you enough for making our lives so imaginative and computer game like. 

Regards,
Chinmay.
A citizen of the city of Pune.


P.S.- Sir, your decision to make key traffic lights at Nal Stop, Paud Phata, Tilak Road Hatti Ganapati Chowk non functional during peak traffic hours was a masterstroke! I doff my hat to you for that! 
Regards.
C.

Monday 17 November 2014

सृष्टीचे मित्र आम्ही, मित्र अंकुराचे

The movie, Dahavi Pha. (10th F) is a gem of a movie.It is sprinkled with some beautiful songs scattered throughout the movie. Beautiful poetry. 



Here is another one which is very very close to me. Somehow, for some strange reason it strikes an inner chord. Its a beautiful thought.

सृष्टीचे मित्र आम्ही, मित्र अंकुराचे  
ओठावर झेलुया थेंब पावसाचे...

अंकुर त्या बीजाला हवा उन वारा
मायेची छाया अन मनाचा उबारा
पाचूचे मखमाली चित्र जीवनाचे...
सृष्टीचे मित्र आम्ही मित्र अंकुराचे...

लवलवत्या पात्याचे नवे गीत गाऊ
विज्ञाना ममतेचे नवे सूर देऊ
युद्ध नको शांती हवी, शब्द अमृताचे...

सृष्टीचे मित्र आम्ही, मित्र अंकुराचे...

Listen to this song here.

Monday 6 October 2014

बैरागी.

अजून सकाळ झाली नाहीये. पहाटच आहे पण सकाळ व्हायच्या बाजूला पहाट कलते आहे. अंधारच आहे. उजाडण्याची अजून काही खुण दिसत नाहीये. पक्ष्यांचा किलबिलाट अजून सुरु व्हायचा आहे. छोट्याशा रस्त्याच्या एका बाजूला लावलेल्या सोडियम व्हेपर लाईट्स मुळे एका पिवळट छटेत सर्वत्र धुकंच धुकं दिसतंय. हावेत गारवा आणि थोडा ओलावा आला आहे. पहाटेचा गारवा चोरपावलांनी समोरच्या टेकडीवरून उतरून दबत दबत माळावरून पुढे चालतो आहे. तो दिसत नाहीये, पण तो आहे हे जाणवतंय. ते पहा- दिसल्या त्याच्या पाऊलखुणा? बघा बघा! वाळत चालेल्या गवतावर कसा दवबिंदू ठेऊन पुढे चालला आहे! हुडहुडी भरवतो आहे. आता हवेचा जडपणा जाणवतो आहे. कान खांद्यात लपवून आणि हात खिशात घालून आपण पुढे जातोय. तो ऐका, आवाज आला? मधेच येतो आहे. दूर स्टेशनवर कुठल्यातरी गाडीची निघण्याची वेळ झालेली दिसते आहे. स्टेशन फार लांब आहे हो इथून. किमान १० किमी. दुसरा आवाज आला.. आला तुम्हाला? ब्राह्ममुहूर्ताला उठून देव पूजा संपवून पर्वती वरचा पुजारी टोल वाजवतो आहे. ऐका..नीट ऐका. अरे देव सुद्धा लाखो भक्तांच्या तक्रारी आणि मागण्या ऐकायच्या आपल्या ड्युटीवर जायला निघालेत... आणि तुम्ही झोपून आहात? शुद्ध थंड ताजा हवेमुळे मन प्रसन्न होतंय...बाहेर पडा...शांतता काय असते याचा अनुभव येऊ दे...चिडीचूप शांतता आहे..

अशातच अचानक दूरवरून ती शांतता नष्ट होते आहे हे जाणवायला लागलंय. लांबवरून भगव्या वेशातला एक गृहस्थ येताना दिस्तोल. कोण एक बैरागी-गोसावी वाटतो आये. उत्तम सूर पकडला आहे. कान टवकारून त्याचं गाणं ऐका. कोणत्याही वाद्याची साथसांगत दिसत नाहीये, तानपुरा नाहीये, हां, त्याच्या एकतारी वर त्याने  ताल धरलाय... लईला पकडून आहे... घट्ट... त्या थंडीत त्याचा खोल आवाज घुमल्यासारखा वाटतो आहे...छे छे! खरंच घुमतोय... का हा पण भास? कोमल रिषभामुळे मानेवरचे केस शहारे येऊन उभे रहात आहेत... अंगावर अक्षरशः काटा येतोय. ही काय वेगळीच जादू आहे? . हा कोण आहे? काय गातोय? ऐक नीट...

"मन सुमरत निसदिन तुम्हरो नाम..." आरे! ही तर खां साहेबांची चीज आहे. याला कुठून मिळाली?
"अब तुमही सवारो सगरे काम...." 
" हूँ अवगुनी कछु गुन नाही मोमे...तुम्हारे शरन अब लियो विश्राम..."..." मन सुमरत निसदिन तुम्हारो नाम..."
खां साहेबांची चीज या भटकणाऱ्या माणसाला कोणी शिकवली? खांसाहेबंचीच गायन शैली वाटते आहे... कोण आहे हा? नक्की कोणीतरी असणार.. पण मग तो असा बैराग्यासारखा का भटकतोय?
माहिती नाही- तो गेला. कधीच गेला. गोसावी-बैरागी होता कोणीतरी. रागांमधला बैरागी कानात ठेऊन पुढे गेला... पाऊलखुणा...

Thursday 4 September 2014

Sawai Madhavravacha Rang

The following is a "phatka" a type of peom written by Veer Savarkar describing the Rangapanchami festival when Sawai Madhavrao was the Peshwa. The phatka gives a brief description of Pune and an imaginary route taken by the Peshwa to play colour with the citizens.

Sawai Madhavrao Peshwa is known for constructing the famous "Talyatla Ganapati" Temple in Sarasbag.
Painting by Mohan Jadhav.

It may be worth to note that Savarkar had written this phatka when he was only 11 years old, and had never ever visited Pune before to know its areas firsthand... What do 11 years old of today do? A general question...

Painting of Sawai Madhavrao at Parvati.

धन्य कुलामध्ये धनी सवाई, भाग्य धन्यची रायाचे
सेवक हाती यशस्वी असती पुण्य किती त्या पायाचे...
श्रीमंतांचे भाग्यप्रतापे द्वादश वर्षे बहु श्रमले
अटकेला जरी पटका रोविती पुन्हा सर्वजण चट नमले...
जिकडे तिकडे नाम पेशवे, काळ शत्रूसी वाटुनिया
प्रजेत झाली बहु शांतता रिपू सर्व हे हटूनिया....

नाच शिकारी रंग तमाशे प्रजेत होती नित्य पहा
श्रीमंतांनी बेत ठरवला रंग करावा असा महा
या याचाकल पाहून सर्वही लेकी सत्वर होकारा
हर्ष होतसे वर्षप्रतिपदे पुण्यात झाला फुत्कारा...
हत्ती घोडे फौज असा हा समाज सर्वही मेळाला
आज्ञा किली श्रीमंते मग सुरवात करा खेळाला...

पुढे विलसते मुख्य स्वारी सवे थाट अंबाऱ्यांचा
चंद्रबिंब श्रीमंत अवांतर प्रकाश पडला ताऱ्यांचा
पिचाकाऱ्यांचा मार तेधवा फार जाहला बुधवारी
स्वारी कापड आळीतुनी खेळत आली रविवारी....
सलाम मुजरे सर्व राहिले दंग जाहले रंगानी
द्वापारी जसे रंग करविले भगवान श्रीरंगानी...

हरीपंतांचे वाड्यापाशी रंग केशरी उडवुनिया
स्वारी गेली नागझरीतून रंग केशरी तुडवुनिया
रास्ते यांचे पेठेमध्ये पाट लागले रस्त्यांनी
गच्ची वरुनी बंब लावूनी रंग उडविला रास्त्यांनी...
शहरी भिजविले कैक बंगले, चौक गुलाले रंगांनी
द्वापारी जसे गुंग भिजविले भगवान श्रीरंगानी...

झुकत झुकत समुदाय चालती स्वारी ये मग वानवडी
नंतर रंगा आरंभ झाला नाच होऊनी दोन घडी...
दो दो हाती गुलाल गळती लाल छत दिसे उन्हात
हास्यवदन मग राव शोभती शूर शिपाई वृंदात...
लाखो हौदे उडू लागले पिचकाऱ्यांचा मार अती
झाली रे झाली गर्दी एकची वर्णावी ती पहा किती...

-सावरकर.(वय वर्ष ११ असताना)

Tuesday 19 August 2014

The Battle of Palkhed 1728 AD- An overview

Following my previous attempts with map representations of troop movements during the Battle of Pratapgad and Pavankhind, I was getting a lot of positive feedback as well as demands for more such articles. On the top of the wishlist were Bajirao's Palkhed campaign, followed by Ragho Bharari and Conquest of Malwa. Today, being the occasion of birth anniversary of Bajirao Peshwa, Im attempting to write in brief about the Battle of Palkhed, after analyzing what I have read from the various sources at my disposal. If you find any mistakes, please forgive me for the same, and do let me know about them so I can correct them.

Background of the War

After the death of Aurangzeb, the Mughals were in decline, owing to the cost incurred in the Deccan wars, and a weak central government. The Marathas, then under the Prime Ministership of Balaji Vishwanath, had obtained the rights to collect chauth and sardeshmukhi over all the 6 provinces of Deccan. This was agreed to with the Sayyed Brothers who were controlling a weak Badshah- Farruksiyar. The deal had given Marathas to levy taxes on the following Deccan provinces:

1) Khandesh
2) Berar
3) Aurangabad
4) Bidar
5) Bijapur
6) Hyderabad.


However, after the fall of Sayyed Brothers, Nizam ul Mulk - who came to power in 1720, was not in favor of this deal and did not allow the Marathas to collect the tribute questioning the legitimacy of Shahu as the Maratha Chhatrapati by referring to two seats of power- Satara and Kolhapur. By 1726, the Nizam had established himself in the Deccan and was strong enough to now oppose Shahu and his ministers- a fire to which fuel was added by Chandrasen Jadhav. 

In words of Kincaid and Parasanis,
The Nizam's plan to humble Shahu was a subtle one.He first withdrew his headquarters from Aurangabad to Haidarabad and won the Pratinidhi's good-will by offering him a jaghir in Berar, as an equivalent for the chauth payable on his new capital. Bajirao indignantly protested but in vain. Shahu, who did not penetrate the schemes of his powerful neighbour, was induced by the Pratinidhi to approve the exchange, since, so he said, the Nizam would feel deeply the payment of tribute on his metropolis. Encouraged by this success, the Nizam next affected ignorance of the respective claims of Shahu and Rajaram's son Sambhaji. He declared himself unable to pay to the Maratha government its chauth and sardeshmukhi, until the matter had been settled. At the same time he removed Shahu's agents from his dominions and invited both Shahu and Sambhaji to send envoys to Haidarabad, where he would himself decide which of the two princes had the better right to the crown of the Marathas. The Pratinidhi blinded by his hatred for Bajirao, urged his sovereign to comply. But the Peshwa laughed his rival to scorn and so worked on Shahu's feelings that the king instantly declared war. The Nizam successfully invoked the aid of Sambhaji. The latter joined the Nizam's camp with a large Maratha force and the Nizam flattered himself that he would be able to destroy the power of the Marathas, forcing them into a civil war, which would never, if his efforts availed anything, be ended.
With this background in mind, we fast forward to 1727, when Bajirao under the generalship of Fatehsingh Bhosale was busy in the Karnataka campaigns of Trichanapalli and Shrirangapattanam. Eiwazkhan, an officer with the Nizam launched a campaign in Pune District, Turktazkhan attacked Nasik and Sangamner whereas Rambhaji Nimbalkar launched raids into Satara district itself. Shahu Maharaj by then had moved to Purandar fort, and Bajirao was called back from the Karnataka campaign to deal with the increasing nuisance of the Nizam.  

It would be worth, at this point, to comment on the strength of the Nizams army, which was its Artillery. His troops consisted of highly skilled Turkish and Persian horsemen along with the support of some local Maratha chiefs such as Chandrasen Jadhav and Rambhaji Nimbalkar. His plan though rested more or less on the usage of his impressive tophkhana or artillery. He thus wished to annihilate the fleet footed Marathas once and for all by drawing them onto the open fields, and blasting them with his guns. However, the Nizam overlooked the military genius of Bajirao.

Painting of Bajirao- at Parvati temple
On Dushera of 1727, Bajirao took arms against the Nizam and set out from Pune and rode with 10000 cavalry at lightening speed towards Punatambe where he crossed the Godavari river and absolutely looted the Nizams rich provinces on the opposite bank. Towns such as Sindakhed Raja, Jalna were stripped of their wealth. On seeing one of his most prosperous provinces at the mercy of Bajirao, the Nizam, Eiwazkhan and others set off after Bajirao on a long and unsuccessful chase. The Nizam and his troops were repeatedly unsuccessful in engaging Bajirao as he could not be caught up or found! Bajirao on the other hand was stripping the province of its accumulated wealth. On 6th November, a few skirmishers from Bajirao's main force were captured by Eiwazkhan, but this had little or no impact on the progress of Bajirao.

While the Nizam was busy searching for him in Khandesh, Rau suddenly made an appearance in Varhad region. On 4th December, Bajirao was in Poorna Parali region. On 6th December at Kasbe Naarsik, on 8th at Washim, 9th December Manglurpir, 10th December Hatgav, 11th December  Manjrakhed. By this blitzkrieg action, Bajirao had laid to waste the prosperous districts of Washim, Manglurpir, Mahur etc. Then, abruptly turning towards North west, he got down to the Tapi basin near Chopda and reached Kukarmunda on 18th of December. The events and span of mileage of these 14 days can be shown in the following Map:


On his way to Kukarmunda, Bajirao tricked the Nizam into thinking he was planning to plunder the prosperous town of Burhanpur. The Nizam concentrated all his forces for the protection of Burhanpur. Rau never turned up. Instead, he made a surprize appearance at Bhadoch. By 30th December, he was at Alimohan on banks of River Narmada. Gujrat province, then under the Mughals was then under the governorship of Sarbulandkhan, who was a political opponent of the Nizam. To Sarbulandkhan, Bajirao made it appear and believe that a combined army of Marathas and Nizam was wreaking havoc on the province. While the Marathas plundered as much as they could,  the person who had to take blame and ignominy was Nizam!

No one had predicted such blitzkrieg tactics from the Bajirao. The Nizam, his officers as well as Sarbulandkhan were taken completely by surprize. Over and above, the humiliation and defamation the Nizam had to face after Bajirao had plundered Gujarat rankled him. Recognizing that Bajirao was now out of his reach, he decided to counter Rau with a different strategy. He stopped chasing Rau, and instead marched straight on to Pune, which was Bajirao's headquarters. On the way, he captured places loyal to Shahu- Udapur, Narayangad, Khed, Pabal, Avasari and reached Pune. On reaching Pune, the Nizam started pillaging it to provoke Bajirao. When he saw no forthcoming response, he declared the Kolhapur Chhatrapati as the Maratha Chhatrapati(thereby giving credence to the Satara Chhatrapati as well) and gave him his full support. Not only this, but he also arranged a wedding for the Kolhapur Chhatrapati in Pune. The motive behind this move was to draw Bajirao towards Pune, and raze his army to the ground in the nearby plains of Pune by deploying artillery units against him. Rau was at Betwad when he learnt of Nizams presence in Pune. However, recognizing what the Nizam had in mind, Rau, instead of coming in the direction of Pune, turned his attention towards the city of Aurangabad. The Nizam, present near Baramati at this time, had no choice to turn back towards Aurangabad to save it from the sack.


It is worth noting here, that the very canons Nizam was planning to defeat Bajirao with, as well as the nature of his army was now becoming an increasing hindrance to his movement. Heavy artillery units, and heavily armored cavalry were becoming too slow to counter the rapid and light maratha cavalry. The Nizams army also included his Zanana, or womenfolk, which would ultimately slow it down. Over and above, this army also contained provisions which were meant to last for the entire duration of the war. This was really taking a toll on the speed with which the Nizam could operate. Thus leaving behind most of the heavy units and artillery behind at Ahmednagar, he marched towards Aurangabad. The Maratha army on the other hand traveled light and lived off the plunder. It gave them a great advantage in terms of speed, making risky and surprising maneuvers at great speed. Not only were they marching at great speed, but they were completely plundering the rich provinces of the Nizam and laying waste his country.

As Bajirao marched towards Aurangabad, he laid to waste  the towns of Gangapur and Vaijapur. The Nizam was on a move from Pune to Aurangabad and had abandoned his artillery at Ahmednagar, and now his every move was being reported to Rau by his spies. Rau had now set the trap at Palkhed and the Nizam walked right into it. Palkhed is a small town about 12 km from Vaijapur and about 28 km from Aurangabad and has a river to its east. Rau blockaded the access to the water, and arranged his troops in a Horse shoe formation cutting off all supply lines and access to potable water. He drew the Nizam towards himself and on 25th February trapped him into a tight spot. The artillery with which the Nizam wanted to destroy the Marathas was rusting away in Nagar, and was of no use to him now. The very marathas whom he had set out to destroy had now become his death and were staring him down from the fields of Palkhed. He was now caught up between dying of thirst and hunger and dying at the hands of Marathas- a terrifying prospect of digging his own grave in any case.Finally, accepting defeat, the Nizam opened negotiations with Bajirao via Eiwazkhan. 

This was the first major victory for Bajirao as a general. He would go on to fight over 40 Battles and not lose a single one. The Nizam had no choice but to surrender and accept whatever points were made by the marathas. In the end, a 17 point treaty was signed. The major point of interest were that the right of Marathas to obtain chauth and sardeshmukhi over all six provinces of Deccan was reinstated. The Nizam withdrew his support for the Kolhapur Chhatrapati, and Recognizing Shahu as the Chhatrapati of Marathas. The treaty also gave Akkalkot, Pune, Indapur, Khed, Narayangad, Baramati Talegaon and other regions back to Marathas. The Nizam was also forced to reprimand some of his Maratha Sardars of their actions, give Jagirs to a few others, and set free all prisoners taken by Turktazkhan. The Treaty was signed on 6th March at Mungi-Shegaon on the Banks of River Godavari.

This battle is not only a significant battle from an Indian history perspective, but also a  world history perspective. The Nizam was out generalled  by Bajirao. British General Field Marshall Bernard Montgomery in his book "Concise History of Warfare" wrote 
The Palkhed Campaign of 1727-28 in which Baji Rao [I] out-generalled Nizam-ul-Mulk , is a masterpiece of strategic mobility  
It should be worth investigating whether Bajirao had planned the entire campaign from the outset or the campaign took its shape dynamically as it progressed. A detailed study of the same is high on the priority list.

A look at the overall campaign:



It is a tragedy that our so called "liberal and secular" school history books and the education board do not include these victories nor these undefeated generals in their syllabus, making their honour trivial and ultimately leaving an already ignorant population in even greater darkness. This is a small attempt to light a lamp and exterminate that darkness.



References:

[1] मराठी रियासत खंड ३ (सरदेसाई)
[2] प्रतापी बाजीराव (म.श्री.दीक्षित)
[3] मराठ्यांच्या स्वारयांचे मुक्काम ( वि.गो. खोबरेकर)
[4] Bajirao 1- An Outstanding cavalry general (Col. R.D. Palsokar)
[5] History of Marathas- Vol 1 (James Grant Duff)
[6] History of Marathas- Vol 2 (Kincaid, Parasanis)
[7] Khare Jantri.
[8] Maps- Google Earth.
[9] Image- Chinmay A Datar.

Monday 30 June 2014

The only way India can win the Football World Cup.

Chi Vi Joshi, in his book "Osadwadi che Dev" made the gods residing in the temple of Osadwadi play a lot of cricket for the benefit of the village, and the village priest Nanu Pujari. I am no Chi Vi, (Im Chi A) but that doesnt stop me from making the gods play football- not just for this "Chinoba Pujari" but for this otherwise "Pashan Wadi". If they team up, and play for the country, India wins the football worldcup hands down. They just have to turn up on the field.

I have tried to persuade the gods to help me a lot many times- sometimes they listen and sometime they dont. This time round though, the concept itself was so novel, that all of them readily agreed to participate in a training session. However arranging a training session for gods themselves is a hard thing to do. Luckily, Krishna, the true inventor of Wireless Broadcasting(He invented it for Sanjay to use during the Mahabharata war) quickly delivered a Avatar like virtual training ground so that selections and trials could be conducted in a dream.(The Gods are too damn busy all day answering prayer calls). 

33 Crore(330 million ) gods turned up for the tryouts. After watching their training sessions a list of 11 players and 1 coach has been selected. Their exploits at a worldcup would be discussed in some other posts. This post will give you readers an insight into the starting XI.
(Chi Vi made gods play cricket, I made them play football. Who knows, tomorrow someone will make them play hockey!)

Anyway, Here goes.

The formation that has been selected is a flexible 4-3-3 which can easily turn into a 4-5-1. The Goalkeeper is the remover of all obstacles, the defense is calm headed and probably the best, the full backs have a lot of energy going up and down the flanks, the midfield packs a punch, the wide men are quick and the striker instills fear in the mind of the meek.

Anyway- here is the squad.

Squad No.
Name
Position
Role
Description.
 1.
Bhalchandra Vinayak
 GK
 Sweeper Keeper
 Known as "Remover of Obstacle" Bhalchandra forms the last line of defense for this Indian team. He is the first player on the team sheet. Known to get upset when he concedes goals, and is quick enough, despite his size, to join attacks.
 12.
 Bhaskar Suryaji Bhanu
 D(R)/WB(R)
 Right Back
 Boundless Energy. Has capacity to go up and down the right flank day in, day out. Has the capacity to blind an opponent thanks to his radiance and brilliance. 
 5
 Sadashiv Mahadeo
 D(C)
 Center Back(Destroyer)
You dont mess with him. He can be soft with you when it comes to tackling, but when you annoy him, get ready to be annihilated. 
 4
 Vishnu Sharangpani
 D(C)
Ball Playing Center Back 
The "Protector", Sharangpani is known for his many roles, but is chiefly known as the calm headed defensive skills, and the ability to rescue the team from the deepest of the mires. His partnership with Sadashiv Mahadeo is famed, and together they form a considerable backline to fall back to in the worse of situations.
 3
Shashank Chandrarao
D(L)/WB(L)
Left Back
Perfectly complimentary to Bhanu, the left back shines at his best when darkness surrounds the team. He may have his off day- usually once in 27 days. His form waxes and wanes over a period, but when he is at his best, he outshines everyone on the teamsheet.
 8
Shrikrushna Vasudev 
 DM(C)
Deep Lying Playmaker 
The Quentessential playmaker, Shrikrushna Vasudev signifies everything that is beautiful about the game. With elegant grace, he controls everyone and everything on the playing field, much like what Pirlo does for Italy. He is the supreme leader when on the pitch, the go to man for taking penalties, or for that matter the go to man for any crunch situation. He is a great motivator, the orchestrater and the director of all moves done on the field.  
 6
 Parshuram Jamadagni
 M(C)
 Ball Winning Midfielder
The perfect foil for Vasudev, Parshuram is the fiery hard tackling, hard hitting midfielder- the quintessential Gattuso type hardman. He doesnt care about hacking into oppositions and his tackling is said to be so fierce that he may have ended the careers of as many as 21 different players. He is indeed a short fuse in an otherwise calm lineup, but the presence of Sadashiv, Vishnu and Shrikrushna greatly calms this fiery individual.
 10
 Sachin Vajrapani(c) 
 M(C)
 Box to Box Midfielder
The Quintessential "Box to Box" midfielder, Vajrapani is known for covering every blade of grass each time he plays. He is flamboyant in his ways, has an eye for the fine things, has supreme ego, doesnt let go of his place so easily. Is a party animal, and has a strong liking for attractive women termed as "Apsaras". He is the captain of the team. Leads from the front, May not be the best player on the team, but the team still cant do it without him. Can pass off slick moves, instigate other team members to take risks and most importantly argue with officials. Rightly selected as the captain, which greatly satisfies his ego.
 7
Saptajivha Agnihotri 
 AM(L)
 Attacking Midfielder/Winger
Agnihotri is a pacy winger, running up and down the left flank. Leaves a blaze of burnt turf whereever he goes. No move for the team is started till agnihotri gets involved. As a compulsary habit of the team, the first pass of every move has to pass through Agnihotri.
 0.
Marutipanta Hanumante
AM(R)
Attacking Midfielder/Winger
Hanumante is the con artist of the team. Has the ability to appear anywhere, has pace which outstrips even the mind. Rightly described as "मनोजवं मारुततुल्य वेगं जितेन्द्रियं बुद्धिमतां वरिष्ठं| ". He is unconquerable, undefeated. When he combines with Agnihotri,can cause severe devastation 
9.
M.Raj
ST
Striker/Poacher/ Complete forward
A person of south indian origin, M.Raj pronounced as YumRaj, is the focal point of indian attack. Known as the Death whisperer, his sheer presence is enough to turn opposition players pale. Known to score 99 percent of the time. Devastating.

The coach for this team is Brahmadev. He is the creator of all master tactics, but is now too old to play himself. He lets the others run the show.

Now that this unmatched Indian team has been selected, we are now waiting for World Cup slots to be drawn. The Worldcup will be held in Pashanpuri of Punyanagri, in the Mayajal weaved by Shrikrushna Vasudev in Chinoba Pujaris mind. Live transmission and minute by minute commentary will appear on this blog. Stay tuned for more updates. More coming soon.

Till then,
Vishwe Devaha Sabhasadayati. Om Shantih Shantih Shantihi.

Tuesday 24 June 2014

1. 19 Recent Social Media Trends(Could think of that many) that will make you want to pull your hair in frustration #PissedOff #BullshitLists

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2. Bullshit Memes
#WTFdoyouwanttosay
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3. Random Personal Memes which make no sense
#BOROMIRisaLegend
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4. This
Im sorry I dont want diabetes.
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5. The dreaded comparison of legends- Maybe of epic greatness or stupidity.
#ThisComparisonbetweenindividualsofepicawesomenessorepicstupidity.
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6. Those Yo Yo Selfies with all the swag and the gold. Im Awesome \m/
#SelfiesArePathetic. #SWAG
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7. @CAD checked in @CafeGoodluck with @VBH, @NSS, @AAD. No one actually gives a shit where you are eating- other than your rectum.
#YourlifemaybeawesomebutIjustdontcare.
Because I dont care where you go with whom.
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8. Dude, I got a new awesome camera and I will show it off even though I dont know how to use it- PS- I spent my parents money.
#EveryoneisaPhotographer
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 9. Those © symbols on the most randomest, worthless photos.
#Pathetic. #Fact
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10. Plastic Emotions and nonsense internet jargon
#NotCool
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11. Unwanted Data
#BandwidthHogger
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12. @AAD,@RDV, @VSC, @AMD, @SSD, @VVK, @APA, @KSA, @XYZ, @ABC and 174 others were tagged in this post.
#Noonegaveafuck.
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13. Narcissist Depression- Sad But True

#Stoplikingyourownposts. #emotionsmakenosense.
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14. These Senti posts
 Mongo is a little Indian kid who has to walk 20 km to go to school every day. Every single time you like, share or comment on this blogpost, a National bank donates 1p for Mongo. With this generous donation that you make (simply by sitting at home), we buy a whip, and make the lazy bastard run.
#LikesCommentsAndSharecontributestoEducation
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15. Unwanted Public Respect. 
#UnwantedRespectExpressed #GloryhoggerAdmin
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16. Bogus Babajis- who give you babaji ka thullu 
Babaji is very powerful. All Bhakts share Babajis Blog on their walls and receive Babajis blessings.
All non bhakts post babajis blog link on wall of atleast 15 people in next 20 mins or else lead a forever alone life.
#Theseforwardssuck.

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17. These posts:
#ILoveMyMomButImnotsharingthisPic.
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18. Putting Random Quotes on photos of famous people and passing half baked cookies as wisdom.
##EinziegelsteinUwacha(Einzeigelstein Says)
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19. #OKnowImDoneIvebeenusingtoomanyhashtags. #Weirdblogpost #WTFisthis. #OhNo #Authorgonemad #WTFisthislist #Pissedoff #Irritated #Whomadethis #Killthemall. #Hashtags
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#TheTitleofthePostIsAlsoTheSortOfThingThatAnnoysYou-#Lists.(That is the first point in case you missed - Weird Lists)