Monday, 30 June 2014

The only way India can win the Football World Cup.

Chi Vi Joshi, in his book "Osadwadi che Dev" made the gods residing in the temple of Osadwadi play a lot of cricket for the benefit of the village, and the village priest Nanu Pujari. I am no Chi Vi, (Im Chi A) but that doesnt stop me from making the gods play football- not just for this "Chinoba Pujari" but for this otherwise "Pashan Wadi". If they team up, and play for the country, India wins the football worldcup hands down. They just have to turn up on the field.

I have tried to persuade the gods to help me a lot many times- sometimes they listen and sometime they dont. This time round though, the concept itself was so novel, that all of them readily agreed to participate in a training session. However arranging a training session for gods themselves is a hard thing to do. Luckily, Krishna, the true inventor of Wireless Broadcasting(He invented it for Sanjay to use during the Mahabharata war) quickly delivered a Avatar like virtual training ground so that selections and trials could be conducted in a dream.(The Gods are too damn busy all day answering prayer calls). 

33 Crore(330 million ) gods turned up for the tryouts. After watching their training sessions a list of 11 players and 1 coach has been selected. Their exploits at a worldcup would be discussed in some other posts. This post will give you readers an insight into the starting XI.
(Chi Vi made gods play cricket, I made them play football. Who knows, tomorrow someone will make them play hockey!)

Anyway, Here goes.

The formation that has been selected is a flexible 4-3-3 which can easily turn into a 4-5-1. The Goalkeeper is the remover of all obstacles, the defense is calm headed and probably the best, the full backs have a lot of energy going up and down the flanks, the midfield packs a punch, the wide men are quick and the striker instills fear in the mind of the meek.

Anyway- here is the squad.

Squad No.
Bhalchandra Vinayak
 Sweeper Keeper
 Known as "Remover of Obstacle" Bhalchandra forms the last line of defense for this Indian team. He is the first player on the team sheet. Known to get upset when he concedes goals, and is quick enough, despite his size, to join attacks.
 Bhaskar Suryaji Bhanu
 Right Back
 Boundless Energy. Has capacity to go up and down the right flank day in, day out. Has the capacity to blind an opponent thanks to his radiance and brilliance. 
 Sadashiv Mahadeo
 Center Back(Destroyer)
You dont mess with him. He can be soft with you when it comes to tackling, but when you annoy him, get ready to be annihilated. 
 Vishnu Sharangpani
Ball Playing Center Back 
The "Protector", Sharangpani is known for his many roles, but is chiefly known as the calm headed defensive skills, and the ability to rescue the team from the deepest of the mires. His partnership with Sadashiv Mahadeo is famed, and together they form a considerable backline to fall back to in the worse of situations.
Shashank Chandrarao
Left Back
Perfectly complimentary to Bhanu, the left back shines at his best when darkness surrounds the team. He may have his off day- usually once in 27 days. His form waxes and wanes over a period, but when he is at his best, he outshines everyone on the teamsheet.
Shrikrushna Vasudev 
Deep Lying Playmaker 
The Quentessential playmaker, Shrikrushna Vasudev signifies everything that is beautiful about the game. With elegant grace, he controls everyone and everything on the playing field, much like what Pirlo does for Italy. He is the supreme leader when on the pitch, the go to man for taking penalties, or for that matter the go to man for any crunch situation. He is a great motivator, the orchestrater and the director of all moves done on the field.  
 Parshuram Jamadagni
 Ball Winning Midfielder
The perfect foil for Vasudev, Parshuram is the fiery hard tackling, hard hitting midfielder- the quintessential Gattuso type hardman. He doesnt care about hacking into oppositions and his tackling is said to be so fierce that he may have ended the careers of as many as 21 different players. He is indeed a short fuse in an otherwise calm lineup, but the presence of Sadashiv, Vishnu and Shrikrushna greatly calms this fiery individual.
 Sachin Vajrapani(c) 
 Box to Box Midfielder
The Quintessential "Box to Box" midfielder, Vajrapani is known for covering every blade of grass each time he plays. He is flamboyant in his ways, has an eye for the fine things, has supreme ego, doesnt let go of his place so easily. Is a party animal, and has a strong liking for attractive women termed as "Apsaras". He is the captain of the team. Leads from the front, May not be the best player on the team, but the team still cant do it without him. Can pass off slick moves, instigate other team members to take risks and most importantly argue with officials. Rightly selected as the captain, which greatly satisfies his ego.
Saptajivha Agnihotri 
 Attacking Midfielder/Winger
Agnihotri is a pacy winger, running up and down the left flank. Leaves a blaze of burnt turf whereever he goes. No move for the team is started till agnihotri gets involved. As a compulsary habit of the team, the first pass of every move has to pass through Agnihotri.
Marutipanta Hanumante
Attacking Midfielder/Winger
Hanumante is the con artist of the team. Has the ability to appear anywhere, has pace which outstrips even the mind. Rightly described as "मनोजवं मारुततुल्य वेगं जितेन्द्रियं बुद्धिमतां वरिष्ठं| ". He is unconquerable, undefeated. When he combines with Agnihotri,can cause severe devastation 
Striker/Poacher/ Complete forward
A person of south indian origin, M.Raj pronounced as YumRaj, is the focal point of indian attack. Known as the Death whisperer, his sheer presence is enough to turn opposition players pale. Known to score 99 percent of the time. Devastating.

The coach for this team is Brahmadev. He is the creator of all master tactics, but is now too old to play himself. He lets the others run the show.

Now that this unmatched Indian team has been selected, we are now waiting for World Cup slots to be drawn. The Worldcup will be held in Pashanpuri of Punyanagri, in the Mayajal weaved by Shrikrushna Vasudev in Chinoba Pujaris mind. Live transmission and minute by minute commentary will appear on this blog. Stay tuned for more updates. More coming soon.

Till then,
Vishwe Devaha Sabhasadayati. Om Shantih Shantih Shantihi.


  1. Amazing ahe he! Imagination run riot! Kudos!

    1. hahaha! :d thanks re!!! Chi Vi was the inspiration! :D :D