The Puneri Lingo

Pune, my hometown, is a city of legends. The stuff that goes on here in unparalleled anywhere in the world. You cannot become a Punekar. You are born one. the "Maaz" is innate. You cannot develop it. Short Temper, Exceedingly obsessive pride about anything Pune, A taste bud to devour all the unusual dishes you get here are few common traits of a true blue punekar. However, since Pune is also a cultural centre- the place where Marathi language is ever evolving, a true Punekar is also a person who comes up with and uses a few peculiar words understood only by the select few in this world who have the honour of being born punekar. What may seem like nonsensical terms make complete sense to us. Some are immortal. Some, became more apparent in the last 4 years I spent doing engineering.

This post is dedicated to all those special Puneri words that we come up with.

(To read the 2nd part of the Lingo series, click here.)

1) Awraa... I dont know how to explain this in english. It has no parallel. If anyone says or does anything not ordinary, thats the typical reaction. "Awraa..."

Usage...

1st person "Are Zampya ni pori kade vakdya najarene pahila "...

Punekar "Awraaaaa!!!"

2)Vadheev... A suitable english word would be a whimsical person or an act. Initially it was used to describe a person, by saying stuff suuch as Kay vadheev ahe to. But soon enough its other forms started appearing. Vadheevpana, vadheevgiri etc etc.

Usage..

 "Arre Zampya kasla vadheev vagato"

3)Napas/FAIL.. I guess I got hooked to this term through Sushant. VIT word. If anyone does anything stupid, then he is FAIL. 

Typical usage: 

"Arre Zampya! Sadhi porgi patavta yet nai tula! Kay FAIL/Napaas ahes"

4) Aai chi jay! An exclamation which literally means Hail Oh Mother! An expression to display the emotion of shock or surprize.

Usage: 

1st person.. "Arre Zampya la muli avadatat".. 

Punekar(who is least expecting this).."Aai chi Jay!"

5)Haramya. An adjective used to describe a devious person. Someone who says something and does the opposite.  

Usage: 

"Arre Haramya.. asa vagtat ka!"

6) Chhapri.. A mild way to curse a person. It means that a person has no standards. Associated with banter only.

Usage. 

"Arre chhapri!! he kaay ahe!"

7) Ghanta.. means bell. But in puneri marathi it is a word to express deep disbelief at someones actions.

Usage: 

1st person.."Arre, zampya ni porgi patavli"..

Punekar.. "GHANTA!"

8)Barrr.... a conversation ender. literally means OK. but in the rudest of the rude puneri ethos, this is said when the person opposite is boring you to death. He says anything, just say barr!, and he wont know what to say.

Usage... 

1st person.. "Are tula mahitye ka he ha blah blah blah blah... blah balh blah" 

Punekar "Barrr!" 

1st person. ""

9) Kamaal... Something amazing. If anything or anyone is out of this world, this word is used to describe it.

Usage.

 "Edya..Zampya chi navin girlfriend kamaaal ahe rao!"

10)Balach.. Nonsensical. Used to dismiss claims made by the other person.

Usage. 

Zampya "arre me vargat pahila alo" 

Punekar "Balach!!"

11)Bhurtya.. Used to describe a person who acts like an idiot. a sugar coated swear word for a waif individual.

Usage. 

"are e bhurtya salya"

12) Gandlay... Used to describe somethings that gone wrong.

Usage. 

eg: when the mobile phone stops working.. "Maza mobile gandlaay re!"

13)Dokyat jau nako! Used to silence the person opposite if he is making outrageous claims.

Usage: 

1st person "Arre merreko ye mila, woh mila" 

Punekar "Dokyat jau nakos re!! Gappa bass"

14) Edya layee bhaari.. word to word, it means Awesome!

Usage.. 

Zampya.. "Arre mulgi patavli"

Punekar: "Edya Layeee bhaari!"

15) Full Hawa.. Means show off..

Usage:

"Arre, zampya ni porgi patavli.. ata full hawaa kartoy!"

16) Fukat hawa... unnecessary show off.

Usage

"kaam tar itarankadun karun ghetla ani swataha fukat hawaa karat basla"

17)Ashakkya! means impossible, and is used to describe a variety of things ranging from boredom to enjoyment

Usage: 

Ghari basun Ashakkya bor zalay.

Arre trek la ashakkya majaa ali!

18) Ghari Ja! An exclamation to tell the other person to stop meaningless argument. Literally means "Go Home"

Usage:

1st person.. "Arre, tula mahitye ka blah blah blah blah"

Punekar" Ghari jaa re!"

19) Ek Numberr/ Vishesshh!! again means Awesome! 

Usage

"Arre amchi exam Vishssesshh hoti!"

20) Kharraaab! means bad...in a bad way. used to describe if a person has had is ga** hammered by banter.

Usage

"Arre zampya chi Kharrraaaab marli geli!"

21) Aai chya gavat! means In mothers village. But in puneri marathi, it is a phrase used to describe surprize.

Usage

1st person. "Arre... aaj aapli pariksha ahe."

Punekar. "Aai chya gavat!"

22) Full Radaaa... means a brawl, or mismanagement or any other activity which leads to chaos.

Usage.

"Arre ganpati baghtana Lakshmi road var fulll radaaaa zala hota"

23) Matter zala.. means someone is in trouble.

Usage

"Arre.. kharaab matter zalay... exam madhe Zampya chi copy pakadli geli"

24) Arre mitra! is a phrase used to address any person you may or may not know.

Usage:

"Arre mitra... shanta ho jaraa"

25)  Ghusliye! means  screwed!

Usage:

"Arre exam suru ahet re.. kahich abhyas nahi zalay.. full ghusliye!"

26) Dokyala Shot.. irritating person/event.

Usage.

1st person " te bagh... Zampya chi girlfriend yetye"

Punekar.. "Nako re ti!! dokyala shot ahe!"

27) Chalni/Challan... a person who tells thaapaa(mild lies) all the time/ A mild lie. Exaggerated claims.

Usage:

"Arre zampya ek number cha chalni manus ahe! Chhotya chottya goshtinbaddal pan challan sodat asto

28) jeev de re tu! a disdainful remark to someone who is irritating you. 

Usage.

1st person. "Arre tula mahitye ka.. blah blah blah blah"

Punekar.. "Jeev de re tu!"

29) Kahi!!! Another word used to express disbelief.. usually used as "Kahihi kay!!"

Usage

Zampya "Arre me lagna tharavla"

Punekar.. "Kahi kay re!!"

30) Kapalat gotya jane/ gaar padne.. getting stunned.. literally...

Usage

"Mitra are.. zampya i vaieet bomb takla aaj.. Lagna tharavala mhane.. kapalat gotya gelya he aikun.. gaaar padlo hoto me pudchi 5 minita"

For some reasons I had missed these. Added after being pointed out by the likes of MadB,Andaksh and others.

1) Haat var zalet.. means hands held high.. situation is out of control.
Usage:
"Aarreee yaar!! parikshemule haat var zalet maze!"

2) Cheap pana: Universally used to describe anything that you dont want!
"Arre kay cheap pana ahe ha!! roj roj kay pariksha"

3)Vayaaaa means waste... used to describe person, behaviour, anything!
Usage
"Arre Zampya vayaa ahe full.. kiti vayaaa vagato!"

4) Phupphha: Its an abbreviation and apabhraunsh of fully faltu. the word was coined by me and Sushya.
Usage:
"Ricky Ponting jagatla saglyat Phupphha manus ahe"

5)Majjor/ Infinite: Exaggerated claims.. Used to increase the strength of your claims.
Usage
"Arre Zampye aaj kal Majjor/Infinite dokyat jaato rao!"

6) Kissa: Kissa is a retrospect of something that a person does not usually do. An act which receives lot of attention, and the person responsible gets lots of flack, then it is a Kiss.
Usage
"Arree.. Zampya ani tyachi girlfriend rastyat bekkar bhandat hote.. Vadheev Kissa hota!"

I dont know how i forgot this. But Piyusha Dani would have killed me if id have not written this! (25-May-2011)

7) Chiwda : Utter Chaos. Similar to raadaa, although less intense.
Usage:
"Arre mitranno! mazya profile picture var jara kami commenting kara! kaay chiwdaa karun thevlay ithe saglyanni!"

These are just a few of the best words that we use. Puneri Lingo is difficult to understand for outsiders.. just a little help for these retarded souls. One thing is sure, when I do go to the US for my masters degree, ill miss the freedom with which i shall get to use these legendary words!"

To read the 2nd part of the Lingo series, click here.

K-means Clustering

One of the biggest advantages of being an engineer is that we can apply concepts that we have learnt in our syllabus to virtually any problem in the world, and try to come up with new and innovative ideas to deal with these problems. We see a number of examples of engineers coming up with bizarre applications. Why refer to other engineers. Me and Anant Devi have already come up with Datar-Devi Approximations for Exams. A cousin of mine, by profession a computer geek, by passion a world class singer came up with another of such fantastic research of the relation between the frequency of your arm swing while walking and your velocity. Amazing stuff. Really, there are no boundaries for us engineers. All we need to do is think a little bit out of the box. Today, I shall be discussing one of the more important algorithms that we have in signal processing (esp speech processing)-the K-means algorithm and its application to one of the major headache for all college guys- the right girl.

Now, engineers, or for that matter most of the guys are hopeless when it comes to selecting the right girl for them. They just fall in love without thinking! (I know Ill be called a hypocrite- I too have been down this path on multiple occasions. MadB will be the one who will accuse me first, but yeah, who takes her seriously when she accuses!) And then they end up fighting with the girl over petty issues, and then act like crybabies.  What guys need is patience. This post is dedicated to all guys who are eternally confused as to what they will do with their love life and provide with insight of finding the best possible partners.

Let me introduce you to our quirky and extremely challenging to implement in matlab friend of ours, The K-means algorithm, which I will use to address your woes. To the unwary and uneducated, K-Means is a clustering algorithm that we commonly use for vector quantization. A given n dimensional ( n corresponding to various parameters) vectors when quantized into a data of say n bits is mapped to its nearest encoded bitstream which gives minimum mean squared error ( the message to which it is encoded is called the centroid) . One problem is- how do you assign the centroid. Well, it is simple. Its nothing but a mean of all the vectors in that cluster. So, dynamically, the centroid will keep on changing until all entities converge to a single point.
Mathematically, the K-means algorithm will be given by


Given a set of observations (x₁, x₂, …, x_n), where each observation is a d-dimensional real vector, k-means clustering aims to partition the n observations into k sets (k ≤ n) S = {S₁, S₂, …, S_k} so as to minimize the within-cluster sum of squares (WCSS):

where μ_i is the mean of points in S_i.

[wikipedia.]

Pictorally, this can be represented as:

• 

  1) k initial "means" (in this casek=3) are randomly selected from the data set (shown in color).
 
• 

  2) k clusters are created by associating every observation with the nearest mean. The partitions here represent theVoronoi diagram generated by the means.
 
• 

  3) The centroid of each of the kclusters becomes the new means.
 
• 

  4) Steps 2 and 3 are repeated until convergence has been reached.

Now, coming back to the notion of the application of K-means for the problem to be addressed. Here, in k-means we have a n dimensional vector. Let these n dimensions be all the points you will look for in the girl. (My vector, is 20 dimensional.) as shown in the figure above, make three categories- Girls who you like.
Girls who you do not like. and Girls who you think are OK. Each girl will have her own unique n dimensional vector. Assign a self defined centroid for all three of them.

As you grow older through your engineering years you come across a number of girls, not necessarily in your college, who you may have considered as your potential ideal match, or as your worst possible match. This will give you quite a bit of database for statistical analysis. When you see a girl in either category, observe them for a few days, and adjust their vectors, and keep them updating. after a sufficient amount of time, the vectors will have reached a saturation point and will not alter. this is when you apply the k-means.

now, it is highly unlikely that we will get a girl who coincides with our self defined centroids. If that happens to be your case, you are one hell of a lucky ba***d. But for people like me, who have some impossible conditional vector entries, this is almost impossible. Also, it is highly improbable that you will have a girl with some qualities from girl B who has some desirable qualities and girl C who has other desirable qualities. Lets face it- its unlikely. So, the best solution is to find the "vector" which will give you the least mean squared error at the output of the K-means. The girl corresponding to that vector is the one you go for!

Just to conclude:

If you like a girl, you have to wait for some time to be absolutely sure that she is the one that is perfect for you. Observe. Make mental notes of all the small things she does. (ofcourse this advise is only for those who are looking long term.. those interested in short term can jump ships whenever they want!). Make a mental note of what you want your ideal girl to be like beforehand. Ive received a lot of flack for my ideal girl, who can be found here, but nevertheless, do it.  Jot down all the points you want in all of them, and get ready to run the K-means algorithm.It works!!

(Personally, I dont recommend this approach- I havent done it for myself, and probably will not do it. Im more of a hopeless old school- fall in love arbitrarily kind of person to try this out. I am not suffering that much, and I am happy with the things as of now. No need for me then! This analogy was made purely to showcase the versatility that an engineer can adopt to make even the simplest of the things mathematical and complex. )

The Fridge Key

I dont know how much impact this will have on my grades, but i hope it does not, for we did this misdeed last year! 

Third year, for many reasons, was one of the most memorable years in college. Especially the 6th semester. Probably, it was the first time we didnt have that much load on our shoulders, or maybe the subjects were easy, or even maybe for the fact the I managed to score an 8 point grade after two wretched semesters made it all the more special. It was the time that the bonding in class was at its best. I had made some incredible like minded friends by that time. So its not surprizing that we ended up doing what I am going to narrate. 

It was a typical March afternoon, probably the last week-sometime between 3:30-5:30, EM practical, with Babya conducting the practical session. March in Pune is bad, and in a closed 20x20 room filled with an assortment of CROs and other measuring instruments,  with just a single ceiling fan operating, and a ban to switch on the AC, it gets even worse. Heat, sweat and practicals had drawn us to madness. To make the matters worse we had run out of supplies for water, and if we needed to get them, we had to climb down two flights of stairs and back up again. Who has the energy to do all that at the end of a tiring day! Nevertheless we did go down to get two waterbottles filled up, but to our sheer disappointment, the water was as hot as the weather outside. Something Cool was the need of the hour.

Fortune, was on our side. The EM lab has a refrigerator.  So, we decided to cool our water bottles and have something cool to drink later. When we opened the fridge door, to our delight, there were 5-6 bottles of cold water, which we immediately set about consuming, and were promptly told off for doing so. Angered at the fact that we were told off for drinking cool water, and were prevented from cooling our own bottles, we plotted a revenge.

As it happened, we conducted an extra practical for ourselves to get the lab assignments out of the way a couple of days later. Now, that day, me and my partner in crime from my lab sessions- Krishna, observed that our friend Babya had left the key on the refrigerator lock. A devilish scheme tool place, and we came up with the conclusion that if we cannot drink cold water, nobody can. So, when nobody was observing, me and Krishna quickly locked the fridge and hid the key, initially in Krishnas pocket. When we did finish performing the practical, we left silently, taking the key with us.

Now, the summer heat got to Babya, and he wanted to have a drink, but could not open the fridge as we had locked it! He was livid. He told off the remaining people from our batch and demanded where was the key. He knew that we had left. So he called us back to the lab, and told that he is checking all bags and pockets for his fridge keys. we needed a place to hide the key somewhere. So Krishna came up with a solution. the key was put on his sandal underneath his foot, and off we went to the lab. We got searched, and still the key could not be found. So we acted to show that we didnt have it by helping search for it. We literally lifted the fridge to check if it was underneath the fridge, checked under all desks, tables, chairs everywhere- but no sign of the key. Babya who was flustered by his thirst by now, told that this was a serious issue and would be reported to the HOD. (who is scared of action taken on a prank!)

We were told off, and then let go. Next day I think it was RDJ who came and told off the entire class for stealing the keys. Here, playing mafia came in rather handy. I was totally able to pull off the fact that it wasnt with me, and I was not associated with this crime! The same applied for Krishna, although he doesnt need mafia practice. 

We kept the key with us for atleast 3 days. the 4th day was the April fools day. So, on that day, we decided to return our key anonymously. We put a sign saying april fool on it, and put the key in the lock of the Lab door. Somebody saw us putting the key there, but fortunately, did not report it. The next time we went for the practical, Babya was gleeful that he had found the key. He told that it was just misplaced probably, and he found it(as if..), and no action will be taken. So, the key was back, everyone was happy, me and krishna were let off for what can only be described as the most vadheev prank that Ive pulled off. 

It was fun! More fun than hiding Gandhalis Dio. More fun than we have had on the Boat club at times. Probably not that much fun as I had this semester doing vadheev pana with MadB,Ketki,Teja and Alok. Still, it was one of the best pranks that can be played in college. Juniors, it is your time to fill in my shoes now that I am graduating soon!

Krishna- Half the gang.

Chinmay- The other half of the gang.

Key- the one we kidnapped.

Tatyarao

Of all the meaningless commenting, chitchat and time pass that goes on on Facebook, once in a while, something amazing crops up. Recently, a friend of mine posted a clipping from the Marathi talk show "Khupte tithe Gupte". The show is aired on the Z Marathi network, and is conducted by the famous pro-rock Marathi artist Avadhoot Gupte. But, this episode was very endearing, and was one that really made me think, about myself, and my duties to my motherland.

The concept was that in that particular segment, you can call whoever you want to call. People tend to call the person with whom they had a fight to patch up, a long lost friend who they havent met in ages etc. But not this guest. He himself is a very accomplished actor, and someone I have had tremendous respect for, after meeting him and spending time with him at back stage during the Chitpavan Mahasammelan. Yes, I am talking about Sharad Ponkshe- a firebrand of an actor who has portrayed the role unforgettable role of Nathuram Godse in what is a memorable play, but sadly criticized by our ruling party and its ideology less followers, Me Nathuram Godse Boltoy.

The thing is, that instead of calling any of his friends, relatives, mother or any normal person, Sharad Ponkshe called Svatantryaveer Savarkar. The reason for calling was simple. It was a plea- a plea to a real ideologist, a freedom fighter, a selfless patriot who sacrificed everything he could for our motherland, and yet, gets heavily criticized, insulted and overlooked by our current government. It was an earnest request to instill his ideologies of "tyaag karne and ayushyacha hom karne". The video is available on the following
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5t6b8jCarkg The acting is so real, so convincing, so moving, that I shed a tear on listening to this.

The video has got me thinking. And think deeply. The state of our nation is really appalling. People are embroiled only in earning shortcut fame and money. Its the unfortunate reality. If there is a sabha going on the life of Savarkar, and next door to it is an audition for roadies, the mindless youth (which i consider unlucky to be a part of) will ignore the path set by an inspirational person and attend the stupid roadies audition.

I wont say anymore-otherwise it will become a post which hammers the youth of today, which has a void when it comes to passion, love and sacrifice for the nation. I was on the verge of becoming one of these idiots for sometime now, but this video has reshaped me. Its reignited that undying love for the motherland, and a thirst to do something good and worthwhile for her, which will make her stand out. One thing I am definitely going to do, is that in future, if ever I go abroad for higher studies, I have every intention to come back, and implement what Ive learnt for the betterment of my country.

I know the path ahead is going to be full of hardships if this is to be done. But I have Savarkar in my heart, and in my mind. His guiding hand and influence can only be a positive. For support I have 4 lines from his own poem titled Maze Mrutyupatra, which is actually a letter written to his vahini, in which he calls her by various names including a goddess, a mother, a brave woman. Its a 25 stanza poem, so I wont post it completely, just the 4 lines from it that give me immense courage to tackle what is otherwise a hard task..

की न घेतले आम्ही हे व्रत अंधतेने

लब्ध-प्रकाश इतिहास निसर्ग माने

जे जे दिव्य-दाहक म्हणोनी असावयाचे

बुद्ध्याची वाण धरिले करि हे सतीचे!

Pune tithe Kharach kay une

Pune, to me, is the best city to live in this whole world. Its weather is awesome. Its not too big, so you can reach from one corner to other in at the most 45 mins when there is no traffic. The advantages are endless. However, what makes pune special is its people. Punekars have some unique and extremely odd habits that usually people from other places dont have. Say what you want, the Puneri sense of humour is something which is very unexpected.

Some of the peculiar things that have been noted about Punekar(I hate to call puneites- kasla ghaan vatata) is his reluctance to work in the afternoon.1-4 all shops will be closed, and closed with proud boards displaying shop will be closed as its time for lunch and sleep! There is a famous joke about this- once a shop (Specifically Chitales sweet shop(Nothing against you Inder and Nikhil- but thats how the joke goes) ) catches fire in the afternoon. The fire brigade comes to quell the fire, and the shop owner simply tells the fire fighters-" its time for lunch, please come back when the shop opens at 4!"

Then there is another weird habit of removing air from the tyres of vehicles parked in front of a gate. Punekars are extremely rude when it comes to parking issues. Offenders vehicles are often carried out by the Chor-gaadi (thief car - the Police truck). However it can be easily got back without any psychological trauma. at the most it costs 100 rupees. Id got back mine saying I only had 20 rupees with me! Ameya Abhyanar told the police he had parked his bike in the police station so it wont be picked, and got off for nothing! Anyway- police are tolerable. The worst people to handle in parking situations are those whose front gates get blocked. Dozens of old vadaas and buildings in the old part of the city proudly declare that "Air will be removed if vehicle is parked in front of the gate". A bolder person in Sadashiv Peth (my hub and hideout) proudly declared, "This is Sadashiv Peth- Puncturing offending vehicles is a routine job done here".
I was of the opinion that that view is restricted only to Sadashiv Peth. Howver, I saw the same approach taken by a woman whose car was blocked due to parked scooters on,of all the places, TEKDI. She was definitely short tempered. Hurling abuse at stupid morons "moorkha mula" who cannot park properly, she promptly went ahead and released all the air from the tyres of 4 bikes! The poor fellows must have had a hard time going down from the tekdi! nevertheless I could not stop laughing!



Then there is this craze of writing witty, sarcastic, snide and derogatory quotes pointing fingers at others which is the cherry on the cake. I guess no one else writes such one liners and witty insult lines better than Punekars- that too in shuddha marathi.  for those who want to see what kind of stuff is written, please click here or here. I wont write more. Im going crazy just reading some of those boards and notices!!

Pune is really a one of its kind city. The attitude people have here are unmatched. The love for the city itself is unparalleled. The love for traffic rules does not exist. Just a few things that makes Pune- Pune!